Perfectly Aligned
by IsThisLove394
Summary: It's Harry Potter's Fifth school year, but this story's not going near Hogwarts. Instead, it's focusing on a certain Werewolf, a clumsy, pink-haired Witch and the dark and dingy number Twelve, which holds an unexpected home to an unexpected romance.
1. Blitz

**Hi there :) This the first chapter of my Tonks/Remus story. It's not AU but their relationship plays out differently to how it does in the books. I've had this idea in my head for a long time (They're my favourite characters) The story is in the Drama category but a lot of it is light humoured and I really hope you like it. I'll shut up now. Chapter one.**

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><p>Remus Lupin slowly turned another yellowing page of the huge dusty volume sat open on his lap. He was sitting up straight in his bed, propped up by pillows and his face full of concentration. It was silent apart from the occasional rustle of a page turn or the gentle hoot of the owl that lived in the tree outside his bedroom window. He turned another page. The sky outside was an inky black and the only source of light was from the oil lamp on his parchment-strewn bedside table, casting an orange glow on the messy room around him.<p>

He was dressed only in his pyjama bottoms; the corresponding T-shirt was lost in the piles of books, parchment and bottles that littered the floor. The walls were lined with shelves that reached the ceiling, mostly occupied by books with the occasional framed photo. Remus looked up from his book and found himself staring fondly at these for a while. There was one of his parents, one of him holding Harry as a baby, one of himself during his Hogwarts year surrounded by fellow Gryffindors, One of himself as a young adult with his right arm around Lily and his left around James. He smiled in the dim light, he could remember that day as if it were yesterday…

_Crack_

Remus sat up at once and looked around. He strained his ears, listening. He could have sworn he just heard…

_Crunch_

He was off his bed and on his feet in a split second, his wand clasped in his right hand. His heart was beating quickly. There was something unnerving about the night when you live on your own, just outside of the village... _That was it_. He could definitely hear footsteps now, coming from outside his house. He could tell that the treader was taking extra care to be quiet.

Slowly and carefully he began to walk towards his bedroom door and out into his living room. He could hear the steps getting louder and faster so he too quickened his pace. He strode quickly through the living room and broke into a jog across the kitchen floor, his bare feet sticking to the cold tiles. He heard the person break into a run; Remus reached for the door handle and threw it open. He could have sworn at that moment he heard a second _crack._

Remus stood in the doorway, his wand aloft, shedding light across his bare chest and the muddy path leading to his door. He looked left and right but he saw nothing, he remained there for a few seconds staring right ahead of him, the cold night air stinging on his face. And at that moment he would have bet all his gold in Gringotts that whoever had just been creeping around outside his house, had just disapperated into the night.

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><p>'Stupid, Tonks! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, Idiot, Stupid…'<p>

Nymphadora Tonks was sat, leant against her flat door. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she was whispering, horrified into her hands.

'Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, What were you thinking?'

Her face was bright red and the colour slowly spread from her cheeks to the ends of her hair. Her heart was still pounding painfully in her chest and she prayed with ever fibre in her body that he hadn't seen her.

Perhaps I should explain. It was indeed Nymphadora Tonks who had been creeping outside Remus Lupin's door in the (very) early hours of the morning. But this was purely because she wanted to get back her broach, the tiny silver and black badger that was now clasped in her hand. It was a gift from her mother, from her very first year at Hogwarts when she had been sorted into Hufflepuff. And it meant a great deal to her.

'Stupid…Stupid…stupid' She was beginning to calm down now, at least she had stopped hyperventilating.

Tonks looked down and the glimmering badger in her hand. She had dropped this the first time she had stood outside that door. Whilst she was trying to gather the courage to knock it had fallen, unknowingly off her cloak. So she decided that to save embarrassment she would return at a time he was sure to be asleep and get it back, an idea that had (very almost) gone entirely to plan.

'…Stupid!' She finished. She got up slowly and trying not to think of what she would have done if he'd caught her crouching outside his door, she began to pour herself some firewhiskey.

As the lurid orange liquid filled the glass, she looked around her kitchen. The sink was full of dishes but the sides were reasonably clear. The walls were covered with deep blue tiles and the wooden cabinets contained stacks of battered cookbooks. There was a first aid kit open on the side, next to a pile of her most recent drawings.

'That… is the last time… I am ever, ever, going to that poor man's home.' She said to herself as she refilled her glass 'Ever.'

You may be thinking that this is a strange habit of Nymphadora's… I'll call her Tonks (she _hates _Nymphadora.) You may be thinking that it's a habit of hers to repeatedly hide outside people's doors and then run away. But Tonks had gone to Lupin's house the first time with the full intention of asking him out, until she lost her nerve and ran away.

Tonks' face flushed red as she remembered this idea. 'It was stupid.' She murmured to herself as she fell back onto her couch and closed her eyes.

'I am never… ever… going there again.'

Oh, how wrong she was.

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><p>Tonks sat at the table of Grimauld place for breakfast. Nothing put her in a good mood quite like Molly Weasley's cooking. She looked up from behind her copy of the Daily Profit when she heard the door open, but it was merely Hermione and Ron who entered, she was dreading the arrival of someone else.<p>

'Anything interesting in there?' Sirius asked as he helped himself to toast, jerking his thumb at the newspaper

'No, Just the usual Bullshit' She replied automatically

'Tonks!' Mrs Weasley said, raising her eyebrows and looking towards her daughter.

'Oh! Sorry Molly.' She answered, throwing a wink at Ginny who giggled into her porridge.

At that moment, Mad-eye and Remus entered and Tonks suddenly became very interested in her bacon.

'Good morning!' Mrs Weasley beamed at them 'Sausages are just ready'

'You're far too good to me Molly' Smiled Remus, taking a place next to Sirius

'There you go' She put couple onto his plate, and then offered them to Mad-eye. 'Are you alright dear?' She asked Lupin 'You look shattered'

'Not surprised' Mad-eye growled, in between bites of sausage 'I'd be up all night too if somebody was trying to break into my house'

'What?' Sirius, Mrs and Mr Weasley exclaimed in unison.

_Oh No. _Tonks sunk lower beneath her paper until only the top of her pink hair was visible.

'Well I don't know for sure, but I swore I heard somebody apperating at… it must have been three in the morning and then I heard footsteps outside.' Mrs Weasley sat down, like everyone else; her full attention was on Remus 'I got out of bed and I heard them start running… by the time I got outside they'd disapperated again.'

There were gasps and murmurings at his. 'I really think you should take my advice Remus' Said Mad-eye gruffly 'Just a couple of protective spells…'

'No Alistor' Cut in Mr Weasley firmly 'No more biting bins, I have enough to deal with' – Mad-eye shrugged and murmured something that sounded like 'Your funeral' – Mr Weasley turned back to Lupin 'I think Dumbledore should hear about this.'

'Who do you think it was?' Asked Sirius

_Oh no, no, no, no…_ Tonks pushed her fork onto the floor then ducked beneath the table to allow her flushed cheeks to fade. Judging by the two loud cracks and the shriek of indignation from Mrs Weasley; Fred and George had just apperated into the room. Thanking them silently for their distraction Tonks resurfaced to the table and returned to her breakfast. With her paper down Remus spotted her for the first time this morning.

'Morning Tonks' He said warmly. Her heart literally skipped a beat.

'Morning Remus' She smiled back 'You alright?'

'Yeah. I…' But he was interrupted by Mrs Weasley

'Tonks, would you be a dear and help these two…' She gestured at Fred and George who Groaned '…Clear out those pesky Doxy's in the upstairs living room?'

'Sure Molly, anything else I can…'

'Don't you smirk like that, you!' She was now talking to Ron. 'You and Hermione are clearing out your room ready for Harry on Saturday… and Remus could you be a sweetheart? We have another…'

'Boggart' He finished for her, smiling 'No problem Molly.' She beamed at them all.

Fred and George had already grabbed some toast and left the room so Tonks and Remus finished off quickly then got up and walked out into the hall. On the first stride she took, Tonks tripped and fell headlong towards the stairs, until she felt a warm, strong arm wrap quickly around her middle, catching her before she hit the floor. Tonks looked up and through her hair, saw a pair of Hazel eyes, boring into hers. She felt her tummy flip. They lingered, just for a fraction of a second before he pulled her up straight.

'Thank you!' She said breathlessly, tingling from head to toe 'Sorry! I'm so clumsy' He laughed kindly before saying 'I think that's how we met, remember? You fell on me'

Tonks gasped her hands over her mouth as she remembered. 'Oh my god, I did!' She laughed too 'I'd completely forgotten that'

'Come on Tonks!' Fred's face peered down from on the landing 'You can gossip all you like later, we're getting thrashed here!' She smiled again at Lupin and hurried up the stairs to help, completely unaware of his eyes following her from behind as she went.

It wasn't until she was squirting down Doxys and throwing them into a sack until it occurred to her that it was a strange thing for him to remember, how they met. Her face flushed with embarrassment, she must have made quite an impression.

'Ow!' Fred Yelled 'It bit me!' He shook his hand, a purple bite was appearing on his finger

George went over to inspect the damage closely. Tonks knew for a fact that they were investigating the effects of doxy venom for their Joke products, she also knew that the real reason Fred hadn't taken off his jacket wasn't because he was cold but because he was stashing Doxys inside it.

'mmm…It's not really swelling though is it?' Said George, inspecting the bite on Fred's finger

'You know…' Tonks said, in a mock casual voice. 'If somebody happened for some reason to want a Doxy bite to swell, they'd just have to add ginger root. It's painless and, of course, delicious.'

'Really?' Whispered George, a new respect for Tonks was growing visibly on his face

Tonks looked and them and winked. 'Don't tell your Mother.'

The twins watched her with adulation. Fred looked as if he could have kissed her.

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><p>Lupin leant back in his armchair later that evening. It had been an awful day. He was on guard duty with Zain who had been driving him up the wall.<p>

Slasior Zain was one of Dumbledore's newest informers. He was a death eater, much like Igor Karkaroff, too cowardly to only support one side. He was arrogant, rude and unkind. Also Remus didn't trust him one bit. However, Dumbledore trusted him, which meant everybody else had to.

There was however, one part of his day that he didn't completely hate, just one moment that he played in his head over and over and over again. It was that split second when he had stopped Nymphadora before she fell. He had only stared into her eyes for half a second, but he'd felt something and whatever it was made his stomach twist into a knot inside him.

Lupin pushed the thought from his mind and tried to carry on the rest of his evening as usual, wearing a small smile that never left his face.

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><p>Tonks was finally reaching the end of the huge mountain of paperwork in front of her. The fake landscape outside her office window had fallen into night and she was struggling to keep her eyes open. She yawned and leant backwards, looking over at Zain's desk on the other side of the room. It wasn't a big very office, it was just large enough to fit three desks in it. There was hers which was in the far corner, facing the door. There was Zain's, which was the one closest to the Door and Beth sat at the desk in-between them. It was late at night, Tonks and Beth were staying late trying to finish a mountain of pointless paperwork so they wouldn't have to come in on a Saturday.<p>

The office was reasonably tidy; it seemed to get scruffier the closer you got to Tonks' desk. There was the occasional open file, book or dark-wizard catcher lying around. Many of these were gifts to her from Mad-eye Moody. He had been her Mentor throughout her training and she had always been his favourite. There was also a rusting caldron at the foot of her desk that she used as a waste paper bin. She looked at her friend who was snoozing peacefully, her head on her arms and her short, tousled brown hair over her face.

'Hey' Tonks said, screwing up a piece of paper and throwing it at Beth's head 'Sleeping Beauty!' She jerked awake.

'Who? Eh? What's happened?' She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands and turned round. 'What?' She said irritably 'I was sleeping.'

'I know' Said Tonks, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice 'How much do you have left to do?' Beth showed her the pile of files that she had been using as a pillow. Tonks stood up, picked up her remaining paperwork and added it to Beth's before picking up the lot and dropping it onto Zain's desk.

Beth gasped then burst out laughing 'Tonks! You bad girl, we can't do that!'

'Yes we can' Tonks said, grinning cheekily 'We'll tell him management put it there or something. Come on let's go get a drink.'

Beth picked up her cloak from the back of her chair 'He'd have his head stuck too far up his arse to notice anyway'

Tonks laughed with her friend as they made their way into the atrium and out into the streets of London.

'So, how's it going with the Remus guy?' Beth asked, ginning annoying at her as they began to walk towards the nearest pub.

'Please drop that! Nothing is happening, he's not interested.' Tonks glared at her best friend 'I should have never told you that I have a crush on him.'

'Wait…' She said, suddenly interested 'So you asked him out?'

'Well…no. Not exactly'

'Uh oh, What happened?'

Tonks explained the two disaster trips to Lupin's house and when she had finished Beth burst out into hysterics, barely managing to gasp the words 'Only you, Tonks' Before bursting out laughing again.

She was still laughing by the time they entered the pub. So Tonks ordered for them – 'Two firewhiskys, please'- and they took a seat. The pub was full of loud and happy people and was lit up much better than their office. Tonks spent the evening laughing and chatting with Beth and for the first time in a long time, she managed to clear Remus Lupin from her mind.

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for reading! That was chapter one. I know not a lot happened but I was just introducing everything. The next chapters are very juicy (promise) Please, please leave a review. I don't care if you loved it or hated it! If you're a writer you'll know how important they are. Thanks again and until next time, take care, M xxx<strong>


	2. The Werewolf

**Hello There! First of all, a big thank you to everyone who Reviewed/Favorited/Alerted the story so far. I love you all, will you marry me? This is chapter numerous duos of our little Tonks/Lupin adventure :) Enjoy xxx**

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><p>Tonks looked at her watch as she hurried across the atrium the next morning. It was seven thirty-five. She was already five minutes late for the meeting she was meant to be at, cursing her alarm clock she hurtled into a lift just in time before the doors clanged shut. She tried to surreptitiously run her fingers through her hair to make it more presentable as the lift descended; it was a deep chestnut colour today as Tonks didn't think she could get away with being late <em>and <em>having pink hair. The lift stopped and Tonks was the first out, she hurtled down one corridor and walked as fast as she could towards the meeting room. She then slipped in through the door and sat down hastily next to an exhausted looking Beth, trying as hard as she could to ignore the numerous pairs of judgemental eyes boring into her.

'What did I miss?' She breathed to Beth as she produced a quill and some parchment from her bag and began jotting down notes. There was a boring looking wizard giving a presentation next to a large map full of magically moving pins which indicated suspected criminals. Tonks looked over at Beth when she got no reply and saw, to her amusement that she was fast asleep, her head propped up on her hand and her quill poised in her fingers.

Grinning, Tonks continued to write, making a mental note to duplicate her notes when the meeting was over. Across the table from them was Slasior Zain, his eyes lazily flickering around the room as his quill wrote for him. Zain caught her eye and he changed his features into what he obviously thought was a charming smile. Tonks looked away in distaste; she didn't know how he had the nerve to smile at her like that when he was so rude. Her anger however loosened a little when she thought of the pile of paperwork waiting for him when he got upstairs.

She heard Beth give a little snort next to her so Tonks stamped on her foot, marvelling at the fact that she had managed to get herself standing this morning, let alone into work on time.

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><p>Remus arrived at Grimauld place around lunchtime. Mrs Weasley immediately began insisting that he stayed for a meal and as tempted as he was – 'everything looks delicious, Molly' - he couldn't. He explained that Dumbledore had asked him if he could drop off some sensitive order plans somewhere, seeing as owl post just wasn't safe enough anymore. A harassed looking Dumbledore made his way towards Remus just moments after he arrived.<p>

'Thank you so much for doing this, Remus' He handed over a wad of parchment and a key. 'She isn't in' He explained and with that, he had gone. Lupin looked down, a little bemused and saw the directions to a flat in London. The parchment was addressed to Miss Nymphadora Tonks.

'…oh' His voice was suddenly a little dry, he cleared his throat. Couldn't Dumbledore just wait until Tonks came to the next order meeting? Lupin frowned a little but he knew that Albus Dumbledore had a reason for everything and most of the time it was wise to just not ask questions. 'Right, well I better be off.' He looked around for Sirius but he couldn't see him 'Tell Sirius, I'll be back this evening before we collect Harry' Molly forced a sandwich onto him before he left. He stepped out into the cold, wrapped his cloak around him and then in a split second, the door of Grimauld Place had disappeared and he was standing in front of a white flat door with the number 2c marked in gold lettering.

He carefully took the key from inside his robe pocket, inserted it into the lock and let himself in. He walked in slowly, he wasn't sure why, but he wanted to take in every single detail about his surroundings. He loved how messy it was. It wasn't too untidy but at the same time it had this really… lived in vibe to it. Everything that surrounded him seemed a little bit worn but at the same time, loved. He tried to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing; he walked into the open plan kitchen and placed the Parchment on the side. Then, taking out a quill he wrote a quick note.

_Tonks, _

_Dumbledore needed you to get this and I'm the acting delivery boy. See you this evening, _

_Remus_

After he put his quill back into his pocket, something caught his eye. Over by the kettle there was a pile of parchment… he moved closer. It looked like there was something on it. He took a guilty and pointless look around before pulling the parchment towards him. In his hands was the most stunning collection of drawings he had ever seen. Each done in what looked like simple quill and ink. But the skill and painstaking detail in which they were drawn was indescribable. The faces of people he recognised were staring up at him.

There was one of Alistor Moody, tracing patterns on his hipflask with his finger, a faraway expression in one eye, his second lay on the table in front of him. Remus sifted slowly through the drawings, one by one, completely gobsmacked. There was one of Ginny laughing, her head thrown back and her hair whipping round her face. One of Ron, looking at Hermione with something Remus had never seen before in his eyes. Hermione, who was immersed in a book was completely unaware she was being watched. One of Sirius, wearing that downcast expression he had when he thought nobody was looking. There was one of the Weasley Twins with their heads together, plotting. There was one of Molly and Arthur Weasley who were sharing a brief kiss. He grinned as he looked through them, each more remarkable than the last.

He stopped at a picture of Albus Dumbledore. This Dumbledore didn't have any twinkle in his eye; he didn't radiate any sort of authority or power. He was simply staring into the distance. The drawing seemed to have captured him in a private moment, just a second of Dumbledore in deep thought, Dumbledore with his guard down. He looked disheartened and oddly vulnerable.

Remus was almost surprised when he reached the last picture, it was one of him. He was smiling warmly and unlike the other pictures he wasn't staring off into an angle; he was looking right out of the portrait into the eye of the artist. Remus liked the picture. He looked… happy.

Then Lupin suddenly realized what he was doing. He hastily restacked the pictures and very, very carefully put them back where he found them. It was this moment that he had fully intended to leave, he had even made his way across the room and towards the door but something caught his eye. A door on the far wall was ajar and he could just see a glimpse into the room behind it. He stopped in his tracks, astonished at himself that he was even considering it. But there was an overwhelming curiosity building inside him, he had no idea why but he felt like he _had _to see it. Not allowing his conscience time to tell him off, he impulsively walked towards Tonks' bedroom door.

_No._

He stopped himself in his tracks.

_That's her room. What's in there is none of your business_.

He turned around again and before he could do anything else wrong, he left. His heart was pounding at what he'd nearly done as he made his way down the stairs and out onto the street. But his guilt melted quickly and soon he was just thinking about the flat, the piles of books, most of which he owned, the slight mess and the first aid kit out on the counter. He made his way down the street, still thinking. What really amazed him were the pictures, he had absolutely no idea she could draw like that. It was at that moment that Remus decided that he liked Nymphadora Tonks, very much indeed.

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><p><em>This meeting must be nearly over. I am so bored, I could die. <em>

Tonks was still sat in the monthly Auror meeting. In which, they were given an updated list of dangerous people. Technically these were the people that they were allowed to attack, arrest and take into the ministry, no questions asked. Tonks eyes skimmed the list as she half listened to what the man at the front was saying. Then something drew her attention that made her choke, loudly on nothing. She read, re-read and then read it again to be sure. But the name wasn't going anywhere, there is was, printed on the list that was given to every criminal catcher in the country.

_Remus Lupin_

She didn't even think…she had to say something. 'Excuse me?' The man at the front looked at her, surprised. He hadn't been interrupted for the last half hour. 'I'm sorry but there seems to be a mistake on the list' Murmuring began around the room. 'This says Remus Lupin.'

The man looked embarrassed. 'No. That wasn't a mistake. Now, as I was saying…'

Beth looked at her with wide eyes, having just read the list herself. She mouthed _'Say something!'_ at Tonks, who spoke again.

'Hang on a minute!' Tonks said, a bit louder. The man looked at her again, now a little annoyed.

'Yes?'

'This is the Remus Lupin that taught as Hogwarts two years ago? 30 years old?'

'…The werewolf.' He replied, curtly. 'Yes.'

Tonks felt an explosion of anger inside her chest. She knew what was going on, she should have known.

'May I ask…?' Her voice shook a little; she looked at Beth, whose face was contorted with rage 'The crime that he committed to be on… this?' Tonks waved the parchment at him.

The man looked uncomfortable. 'Now, well… when it comes to werewolves…'

'How dare you' She hissed, her hand tightened around her wand. 'How dare you give people permission to attack an innocent man, just because he's…'

'Now look here.' The man was getting agitated now. 'This wasn't my first choice, but it's simply a formality…'

'A formality?' Tonks' voice had become shrill now 'No. No. I'll tell you what this is. It's illegal!' She waved the list at him again.

The man began to raise his voice as well. 'He was a danger to those children when…'

'Shame on you' Beth spat, she rose up to her feet, as did Tonks and to their surprise, quite a few others.

'He doesn't work in a school!' Tonks was almost shouting now, every pair of eyes was on her 'You are discriminating against an innocent man who's never hurt anybody. And you're trying to do it behind his back! Don't you understand? This is how it begins. Werewolves are people…' The man tried to interrupt but she talked over him, she no longer cared about keeping her job, there was a rage firing up inside her at the injustice of it all. 'Werewolves are people and deserve the same rights as _everyone_ else. This is a disgusting and petty piece of prejudice and if his name isn't taken off this list, I will do absolutely everything in my power to get everyone responsible fired, even if it means that I am too.' Tonks finished, she was breathing heavily. The room was silent.

'This meeting is over.' The man picked up his briefcase and went to leave, when he reached the door he turned to look at Tonks, anger flashed in his eyes 'There will be somebody will be contacting _you_ soon.'

'I look forward to it.' She replied rudely. The man left.

The room erupted with chatter. Some people smiled at Tonks before they left, some loudly criticised her, some scowled but a good few went up and congratulated her for her bravery. Tonks wasn't taking any of this in; she wasn't even listening to Beth who was talking to her urgently about trying to keep her job. She didn't care. She had a letter to write.

She hared out of the conference room, into the elevator and travelled to her office. Once she was inside, she fumbled through the mess on her desk before she found parchment, quill and ink. She then began to scrawl.

_Remus, _

_The Ministry are looking for a reason to arrest you. I think Umbridge is behind it. I may have made things worse, I'm so sorry. Stay with Padfoot until I sort this out. Also tell Moody to get his arse down here, my job hangs in the balance._

_T_

She attached it to Beth's owl, Horatio, who was perched on the window ledge. He took off, out of the door and upwards. She then sank down into her chair, that morning hadn't gone quite as well as she'd hoped.

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><p>Most of the order of the Phoenix were gathered around the table at number twelve Grimauld place. Lupin tried to hide his amusement at how many people wanted to help bring Harry from the Dursleys. Nobody else around the table seemed to feel the same way apart of course, from Sirius, with whom he was trying to avoid eye contact. Mad-eye was talking to them all when he was interrupted by a sharp tapping on the grimy kitchen window. They looked over to see a plump tawny owl, sat on the window ledge. Mrs Weasley hurried over to let it in.<p>

The bird swooped in above their heads, and to his surprise, landed in front of Remus. He took the letter and opened it at once.

_Remus, _

_The Ministry are looking for a reason to arrest you. I think Umbridge is behind it. I may have made things worse, I'm so sorry. Stay with Padfoot until I sort this out. Also tell Moody to get his arse down here, my job hangs in the balance._

_T_

His heart plummeted. They were trying to arrest him? What for? He read the note again and without saying anything, handed it to Alistor. How had she made it worse? Suddenly he was filled with guilt. He didn't want Nymphadora to lose her job, just because she stood up for him. He wasn't worth that.

'Jesus…' Moody muttered, with a scrape of his chair, he stood up and left the room at once. Remus knew he was very fond of Tonks and he'd watched her train hard for her job, he wouldn't want to see her loose it.

By this time there was a sea of curious faces staring at him, demanding an explanation of what had just happened. He read the note aloud, it didn't take a genius to work out this was another attack on werewolves coming from Delores Umbridge. Sirius was furious; he began to rage about Umbridge, using a stream of increasingly more creative and obscene profanities. Mrs Weasley scowled at him, obviously worried that his more than fruity language would carry upstairs. – 'Sorry Molly, I couldn't think of any other words' - Although he couldn't say it, Remus appreciated his friend for it. Sirius had a spectacular talent of always making him feel less alone.

The rest of the afternoon passed fairly quickly. Lupin had been taken off his order duties and he spent the day with Sirius. And even though the most part was spent trying to get rid of some particularly macabre pictures from the wall (It seemed the Black family were fond of permanent sticking charms) he had fun.

When it came to the evening, Remus insisted that he should go with the party to collect Harry. 'Look, he's been stuck at the Dursley's with next to no news all this time. You've heard Ron, you know how they treat him.' When Kingsley still tried to convince him to stay, he said 'I really think Harry should have somebody he knows there… Somebody who didn't change into a death eater the last time he saw them' He added as an afterthought. 'Otherwise I don't think he'll go, he's very clever. I taught him for a year. Come on Kingsley, we owe him that.' It seemed that nobody could argue with this. So he headed off late that evening, to meet everyone else at Number four Privet Drive.

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><p>Tonks looked round in the darkness and saw a huddle of people standing round on the street. She hurried over and together they made their way into the house. She looked around curiously as they walked silently through the hall. Everything was so…. Clean. She didn't like it. When they found the kitchen somebody flicked a light on and she immediately spotted Remus, Moody was talking to him quietly on the other side of the room. When they met Harry (giving him the fright of his life) and introduced themselves, Tonks immediately volunteered to help him pack. Remus returned to his conversation with Mad-eye.<p>

'What happened?' Lupin asked Mad-eye, concerned. Mad-eye seemed to sense that he was asking after somebody else's fate, as well as his own.

'It's all been sorted. She didn't really need me there at all. I was ready to curse anybody into oblivion who tried to arrest Tonks…'

'Wait! They tried to arrest her?'

'Yeah. Refusal to cooperate with ministry policy or some bollocks like that…' Moody waved this aside with one hand. 'Anyway, she's sorted it all out herself. She'd mouthed off at the meeting, when she saw the authorisation for your arrest on the list, apparently she threatened to do everything she could to get them all fired.' He smiled his lopsided smile.

'She didn't!'

Moody grinned. 'She did, doesn't take any crap from anyone, that girl.' Lupin saw a glint of pride in his eye. 'It's what makes her so good at what she does. Still, not many people would put themselves on the line like that for anyone, not even Tonks. She must have a very high opinion of you.'

Something about what Moody just said seemed to warm Lupin up on the inside. He was suddenly happier than he'd been in a long time, it felt good having somebody stand up for him. It amused him thinking of Tonks mouthing off in a meeting as well, he could completely imagine her doing it. His thoughts, however, were interrupted when Harry and Tonks reappeared with his school things in toe. She laughed when Harry nearly fell over his trunk and it struck him at that moment, just how pretty Nyphadora Tonks was.

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><p><strong>So There's chapter two. Please let me know what you think! Reviews are so important for a writer's first story. Thanks for reading and until next time, take care xxx<strong>


	3. Firewhisky Girl

**First things first. A Massive thankyou to everyone who has reviewed my story so far, you make my day. You really do. This is chapter three of Perfectly Aligned, I really hope you enjoy it (it's massively fluffy, yay!) and I will keep you no longer.**

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><p><strong><span>Firewhiskey Girl<span>**

Tonks sat at the table at grimauld place that evening, uncharacteristically quietly. She had just witnessed the extremely heartwarming yet monumentally saddening argument between Sirius and Molly over Harry. Her heart went out to all three of them. Molly and the motherly position she had taken when it came to Harry. Sirius and his indignation and frustration that only thing that he had responsibility for, he wasn't allowed to look after, and to Harry; who simply wanted to know the truth.

When the meeting had finished she was looking forward to settling down with a glass of firewhiskey and her favourite book. As she made her way out the door, she heard somebody call her name. Lupin caught up with her outside.

'…Tonks! Do you fancy coming back to mine for a drink? Kingsley needs to kill some time before his shift and I haven't thanked you properly for everything you did for me today.' He smiled at her, there was just something about his smile made her insides melt like butter.

'I'd love to' She said, hoping she hadn't replied too quickly. 'And it was nothing, really' She grinned back. Kingsley waved pleasantly at her as he walked up towards them before he turned on the spot and disapperated. Lupin looked at her expectantly for a moment before he seemed to realise.

'Of course! You haven't been to my house before, have you?' He said, cheerfully. Tonks shook her head, cursing the colour that she knew was rising in her cheeks. 'Here…' He wrapped his arm casually around her, holding her close to his chest, then disapperated too. Even though she hated side along apparition with every fibre of her being, she enjoyed this moment enormously. His arm was wrapped tightly around her and even though she felt like she was being sucked through a tube, the butterflies in her stomach were for a different reason. Then before she knew it, the journey was over and it suddenly seemed ridiculous that one person could make her heart race like that.

Once they were inside, Tonks took a look around. Everything was so… Lupin. From the Navy, slightly battered couch down to the huge stacks of books, occupying one of the wooden shelves on the wall. A fire was lit in the grate and Kingsley, who had obviously been here before, threw himself into the armchair before taking off his cloak and saying 'Just a butterbeer for me please Remus, I've got to go back out in a few hours' He leant forward, took the copy of the Daily Profit from the wooden coffee table, rested his feet in its place and began to read.

'I don't envy you.' Remus said from the kitchen, already holding a bottle of butterbeer. He threw it to Kingsley who caught it with one hand. 'What do you want Tonks?'

'I'll have a firewhiskey if you've got it' She replied, sinking back into the sofa. It had been a long day. Remus returned with two glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey, he placed them on the table and sat down next to Tonks. He then began to pour the amber liquid into the glasses.

'Huh…' He said aloud, as if he were pondering something.

'What?' Tonks asked.

'I just didn't have you down as a firewhiskey Girl, that's all.'

'Well, I'm full of surprises.' She replied cheekily, Kingsley chuckled.

'I heard about you're little disagreement with the head legal office' He said in his deep, rich voice. He chuckled again 'Made my day. I wish more people would take a leaf out of your book… I still can't believe you threatened to fire them all!' He burst out laughing 'I mean they're your bosses!' Lupin joined in, chuckling. Kingsley stopped for just long enough to gasp 'And they believed you!' This caused all three of them to laugh harder. And just like that, conversation started.

They talked for ages about the Order, Harry, Sirius and Work. There was a little dispute about Quiddich, after which several bets had be made about the outcome of the world cup. Tonks was really enjoying herself. Lupin was so easy to get along with; they shared opinions, quiddich teams and a sense of humour. It was almost unnerving how much they had in common. Kingsley was great to be around too, she got the impression that he was a very good friend to Remus, second only to that of Sirius. Kingsley also found Tonks incredibly funny, especially so when she was telling them a story from her Auror training days a couple of hours later. At this time, both she and Kingsley were sat on the floor and the bottle of firewhiskey on the table had become substantially emptier.

'So…' Tonks continued over the sound of Remus and Kingsley's laughter 'When it came to the inspection' She was laughing so much it made it hard to continue 'He was walking… walking down the line.' She gasped for breath 'He got to Chester, and he was staring at his own beard…' Lupin laughed harder 'His own beard! On Chester's face… and _then_' Tonks became incapable of speech.

'What happened?' Kingsley asked, wiping his eyes on his sleeve

'He gave him full marks!' Tonks cried, giggling hysterically. This was too much for Lupin; he was bent over double, clutching his side when he fell right off the couch, onto the floor. The image of somebody marking the quality of their own beard in a disguise exam continued to amuse them for a while.

'Of course I completely aced that exam' Tonks grinned, when she'd stopped laughing. 'It was the least I've ever had to work for anything.'

It was at this moment that she realised her and Remus' arms were touching. Her heart pounded in her chest as she tried to ignore it. She didn't move her arm, neither did Remus. She knew he must feel her skin, brushing against his. But neither of them budged. Instead they kept the innocent contact for a bit longer. Tonks' face flushed a darker shade and the three of them sat in silence for a half a minute, thinking.

'Well' Said Kingsley, looking at his watch and sounding genuinely disappointed that their evening was being cut short. 'I've got to go now.' He sighed and stood up, Remus stood up too. 'Thanks so much for the drinks, Remus' He gestured at the couple of empty butterbeer bottles on the table. He then addressed Tonks as he held out his hand to help her up. Saying quietly and only half seriously into her ear 'Don't let him drink any more. He's getting through that bottle pretty sharpish without your help.' He winked at her and she laughed. They said goodbye once more and then he was gone.

Lupin turned to her and smiled. 'Tea?'

'Tea would be perfect.' With a wave of her wand, she cleared away the drinks and Remus made the tea. About a minute later they were sat side by side on the sofa both holding a steaming mug and talking quietly. They talked for a little bit about Kingsley, Lupin seemed to open up to her. Talking honestly about how Kingsley had been there for him during some bad times and how they became friends. Tonks guessed that his honesty was owed to the fact he was drunk. She had drank three firewhiskys, which in her opinion was three too many and Remus had drank significantly more than that. After a while the conversation changed to their shared hatred of Slasior Zain.

'He asked me out you know?' Tonks said, looking up from the dregs at the bottom of her empty mug at Lupin. Lupin choked on the ends of his tea.

'He what?' Remus' brow narrowed, he was looking at her with an expression she couldn't work out. '…Seriously?'

'Yes' Tonks laughed. She didn't know why she chose to tell him this. 'Twice, actually'

'…and you said…'

'I said no of course!' She cut in. Then she began to tell the whole story, along with her theory that her rejection was the reason behind his rudeness to her and Beth. They talked for a bit longer until it really was time for Tonks to leave. Lupin walked over to the front door with her and opened it.

'Thank you' Tonks said as she stepped out into the cold. 'I've had a really good night.' Lupin looked up at her face, she meant it.

'Me too' He replied. Then, without thinking about what he was doing in his semi drunken state, he leant forwards and kissed her on the cheek.

'Goodnight' He said quietly. She simply stared at him. His face already began to flush with humiliation.

'…Goodnight' Tonks could barely speak for shock. She turned round, still not quite believing that he'd done it. Her cheek was tingling and her mind was racing. She didn't seem to care how awkward it was going to be the next morning as she disapperated on the spot, a smile playing round her lips and her heart dancing in her chest.

Beth listened with rapt attention to every single detail as Tonks recounted the story of the night before. By the end she was grinning from ear to ear.

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><p>'You like him!' She sang smugly, throwing her feet onto her desk and surveying Tonks over her parchment. 'You really, really like him!'<p>

Tonks didn't look up from her work; she knew the colour of her cheeks would give her away. This was pointless as the colour of her hair gave her away anyway. She could hear Beth laughing as she tried to concentrate on the file in front of her.

'Keep it down' she heard somebody drawl. It was Zain, who had just strolled into the room. There was an uncomfortable silence. Both she and Beth knew that he had done nothing to try and help Tonks the other day when she was very, very almost fired. On the contrary, he almost seemed to be doing the opposite. Beth glared at him and spent the day making occasional loud farting noises with her hands then throwing him dirty looks. Tonks grinned; she honestly had no idea what she would do without her.

The rest of the day was relatively boring; there were no operations to go out on. So she spent it reading reports and drawing out complicated maps of potential and sighted criminals. There was only one thing on her mind however as the day drew ever closer to an end. She knew who was going to be on guard duty that evening, and she was quite keen to go and visit him. At the end of the day she was all prepared to have to shake off Beth to sneak down to the department of mysteries. But to her surprise, Beth left almost instantly, without even saying goodbye. Tonks frowned slightly as she watched her leave, she had been acting strange today… well stranger than usual.

She shook this thought from her mind and hurried out of the office. Striding quickly along the corridor she reached a lift, looked around then descended, unnoticed down to the department of mysteries.

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><p>Lupin was sat, alone in the almost pitch black. This was his least favourite thing to do. The guard hours were long and very boring, he was also freezing cold. He was sat on the icy, hard stone floor underneath Mad-eye Moody's invisibility cloak, his knees pulled up to his chest. He held his wand tightly in his hand and looked out pointlessly into the darkness of the corridor stretching in front of him. And then he heard something that made his heart pound furiously in his chest. What was that?<p>

He could hear slow, echoing and completely unmistakeable footsteps. He gripped his wand and braced himself, his heart beating in his throat. Somebody was out there and they were getting closer and closer to him.

In the dim light he saw a figure standing above him. His stomach lurched in fear. Without missing a beat he lifted his wand and stunned them. The figure crumpled on the spot with a sickening crack of skull hitting stone. He lent forwards to investigate the person, collapsed in front of him and he felt his heart plummet.

'Oh no' He whispered aloud to himself. His voice echoed in the silence.

Tonks lay, as pale as a sheet, her eyes shut peacefully as if she was just sleeping. There was a horrible pool of crimson where her head had hit the stone floor.

Something happened when he saw her. Something stirred up inside him that he'd never felt before. His heart seemed to burn inside his chest. There was a painful wrench that grew stronger and stronger, the longer he looked at her. Emotion began to rise up inside him like the tide; it was unexplainable, unreasonable and completely unstoppable. Without using words without even using thought, he seemed to realise something. He couldn't lose her.

He heard two glass bottles of what was obviously butterbeer rolling away to a stop on the floor. He began to panic. What had he done?

'Shit! _Shit!_' He hissed to himself, throwing his wand to one side. He had to get her out of sight. He knelt over her and easily picked her up in his arms. He then pulled her over onto his lap, her head rolled to rest onto his chest, still bleeding slowly. Somehow he managed to pull the cloak over to cover the pair of them. He felt around for his wand. Once he got hold of it he vanished the blood on her face and on the floor with a flick of his wrist. Hands shaking, he examined Tonks in his arms. His panic evaporated as soon as it had come. The damage wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Muttering under his breath, he healed the wound on her head and revived her from the stunning spell. Slowly she began to stir and Lupin became very aware that she was still in his arms. She gasped, unable to see in the darkness 'What's going on?' she said loudly, confused.

Lupin clamped his hand over her mouth in a jerk reaction to the sudden noise. She let out a muffled scream. 'Shhhh' Lupin hushed her furiously, he didn't want to think what would happen if they were found.

'…Remus?' She breathed 'Is that you?' He could feel her hot breath on his skin. His heart began to pound again, but this time it wasn't in fear.

'Yes, sorry. I stunned you by accident.' He whispered, cringing at how stupid it seemed. There was a pause, in which Lupin realised he was still gripping her tightly to his chest. For some unknown reason he didn't seem to want to let go. He instantly loosened his grip. He could feel her shaking with silent laughter 'you idiot!' She giggled, her words weren't angry, but affectionate. He helped her to move. She settled herself beside him and reached for the two abandoned bottles of butterbeer. They were very close together under the cloak. Tonks looked up and he could just about make out her face, her eyes glittered at him.

'I came down to keep you company' She whispered. Smiling, she held out one of the bottles. 'You didn't have to stun me for it' She laughed quietly again, Lupin joined in as he took it from her.

'Thank you' He grinned at her, unscrewed the top of the bottle and drank. After a little silence he wondered aloud 'It's so gloomy here isn't it?' He gestured round the damp, dark stone walls and floor. 'I don't think I'd like to work in there' He looked round his shoulder to stare at the door they were leaning against.

Tonks took a sip of butterbeer. 'No, me neither. If I'm being honest with you, the department of mystery lot are all a bit funny, never talk very much.'

Lupin smiled 'Probably why they're called unspeakables.' He thought for a moment 'Aren't you curious though? I mean, what do you think is in there?'

'mmm…' Tonks thought hard for a while. 'I have no idea. It's probably full of things that humans can't possibly understand.' She looked at Remus before adding, cheekily 'Maybe Snape's dress sense is in there.'

Lupin snorted loudly, he covered his mouth to stop himself spraying butterbeer everywhere, before melting into a fit of silent laughter. Tonks tried to shush him but she too was giggling quietly, she loved how he always laughed at her jokes, they seemed to share a sense of humour. If she ever found something funny in an Order meeting she would always catch his eyes, glinting impishly at her. They would share the joke silently and whoever was talking would continue, oblivious that what they had just said was amusing in the slightest.

They passed a lot of time talking and joking quietly with each other. Remus was bursting with gratitude, she had turned what was going to be a long, boring and lonely night into the most fun he'd had all week. She had an uncanny ability to raise his spirits, he was never really unhappy when she was around. He wondered if she had this effect on everyone.

The hours ticked by slowly as the pair talked themselves hoarse about anything and everything, the whole time, making extra care to be quiet. Tonks felt as if she was getting to know him better and better by the second. They talked about their childhoods and where they grew up. They discussed their time at Hogwarts and told story after story; some happy, some sad, some hilarious and some, heartbreaking.

It was the early hours of the morning before Tonks really felt the full working day combined with the lack of night's sleep take effect. It was very warm with just the two of them huddled under the cloak and as their conversation began to slow a little, she felt her eyelids become impossibly heavy. They sat in silence for a little while and before she knew it, her head had dropped onto Remus' shoulder and she was drifting off into sleep. Remus didn't move an inch. He could feel her chest, rising and falling slowly as she slept, her cheek resting on his shoulder. He knew he should probably wake her up, tell her to go to bed but he couldn't bring himself to. She was so peaceful, so perfect that he didn't dare move a muscle in case he ruined it. After about ten minutes he noticed goosebumps rising on her arms, she was shivering. Remus wasn't quite sure what compelled him to do so but he shrugged off his cloak and with one hand, covered her with it. So Lupin finished the last hour of his shift in the freezing cold, listening to her gentle breathing as she slept, slumped against his side.

**There you go :) Please let me know what you think, and feel free to review with any critiques you have or mistakes you've noticed. Thanks to ThisLoveHasNoCeiling for letting me know I kept on spelling Kingsley wrong! Untill next time, take care xxx**


	4. The Unexpected Boggart

**Hello again! All my cyber love goes out to you guys for the lovely reviews on the last chapter, you rock! This is chapter number four, lots of lovin' but I've injected some plot in there as well ;) I really hope you like it xxx**

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><p>Tonks made her way up to the atrium the next morning with a huge smile that she just couldn't shake off her face. She ran last night through her mind over and over again. It had been so romantic! Tonks knew she was being foolish, she knew Remus would never feel that way about her, but she couldn't help it. Every time she thought of him it was as if somebody let fireworks off in her tummy. Today was her day off, but she decided she would HAVE to tell Beth everything that had happened before she went, even if she would have to alter the story to exclude the Order of the Phoenix. She was so preoccupied; she didn't spot the figure ahead, waiting in the shadow of a corridor for her to pass. She was just thinking of how she was going to start her story when she felt somebody grab her arm and pull her into an empty office. The lights were low but she recognised the man at once.<p>

'Zain! What the hell do you think you're playing at?' She asked, rubbing her arm furiously.

'Calm down, Tonks' He sneered back, amusement in his voice but something that resembled panic in his eyes. What was going on?

'What do you want?' She asked impatiently, a steely note to her voice

'You'

'That's a bit vague' She responded dryly

'I need you to give me the location of Dumbledore's secret weapon' Tonks looked blankly at him. What was he on about? The whole of the order knew that the secret weapon was the prophecy and was in the department of Mysteries. Unless… Zain had been away on Order business when they were told that. Tonks now knew that was no accident on Dumbledore's behalf. He spoke again 'Dumbledore told me to get the location from you at the Ord-'

'Shhhh!' Tonks hissed 'Not here! Are you as stupid as you look?' He must have thought she was an idiot. She may be one of the youngest members of the Order of the Pheonix, but by no stretch of the imagination was she weak. And there was no way she was going to tell him that Dumbledore's secret weapon lay a few floors beneath their feet.

He looked angry at her 'Don't be stupid Tonks. Tell me what it is.'

'_What_ it is?' Tonks replied, she didn't trust him and she wasn't sure Dumbledore did either. He took a step forwards, she took one back; he gripped her arm tightly in his hand

'Get off me' Tonks replied at once, her wand at his throat. He obeyed immediately. She stared into his face, his features seemed to return to his normal sneer.

Beth had disappeared from her mind, which was set on heading to Grimauld Place. She needed to talk to Dumbledore immediately.

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><p>Tonks' conversation with Dumbledore was short and very frustrating. He listened to her story carefully in silence, and then stared at her for a little while. Blue eyes blazing he asked her one question – 'Did he threaten you?'<p>

'No' Said Tonks, surprised that this was the thing he was focussing on. Dumbledore relaxed, and then seemed to dismiss the matter, saying only one thing.

'Slasior Zain, is not the most agreeable person in the world. I, myself do not care for him, but he isn't going to betray the Order.'

'But- sir- I…'

'I _know_ he isn't.'

'Then why didn't you tell him about the prophecy'

'It must have slipped my mind.' He said without hesitation. Dumbledore's word seemed so final, that she didn't bother to argue. So Tonks left it at that.

By this time it was about nine in the morning, Tonks hadn't had much sleep at all. After asking (very casually) where Lupin was, she discovered that he'd gone back home to catch up on some sleep. This seemed like a very good idea indeed.

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><p>A few minutes later she was letting herself into her flat, it struck her then just how tired she was. Once she was in, she took of her cloak and made to throw it on the couch. To her surprise, however she discovered there was already somebody on it. Beth lay curled up, her head resting on a pillow as she breathed deeply. She looked as if she had waited for Tonks to arrive but had fallen asleep in the meantime. In a moment of panic, Tonks looked round at the pile of Order notes, left on the side by Lupin. Sure enough, she saw they had been rifled through, it was clear that somebody had been reading them. She cursed herself for not putting them away sooner.<p>

Tonks had always felt guilty when she had to lie about the Order in front of Beth. It had been her intention to get Beth to join, but Mad-eye had stopped her. She could remember his words exactly- 'Not yet- the girl is under every ministry surveillance available at the moment, it's too risky…for us and for her.'- She remembered Mad-eye being disappointed, Beth was very good. Why she was under surveillance, they weren't quite sure. But Kingsly was convinced it was because the ministry got an anonymous tip off that she was working against them.

She stared down at her peaceful looking friend and sighed. Tonks was, of course wondering why she was there, but she didn't have the heart to wake her. She covered Beth with a blanket and wrote her a note before going into her bedroom. Tonks yawned widely, her mind, although worrying about Beth was too full of happy thoughts about Remus and sleepiness to keep her up. She changed into her pyjamas and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

Tonks awoke that afternoon to find Beth had left. She wanted more than anything go blow off that afternoon's Order meeting to go and find her, but she knew she couldn't. Instead, she quickly inspected herself in the mirror by the door. She closed her eyes so her hair lengthened down her back. She inspected this before closing her eyes again. This time it rose into loose waves around her face and past her shoulders, it was a deep chestnut colour. She closed her eyes once more and it transformed into a dusty pink. She grinned at her reflection.

'Perfect'

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><p>Lupin was facing the rattling wardrobe in front of him, his wand gripped tightly in his hand. He wondered just how many more of these wretched boggarts there could be hiding in Grimauld Place. He raised his wand to open the cupboard door, thinking hard about the full moon that was lurking inside.<p>

The cupboard door sprung open and for a moment he was confused, he looked up above him and there was no sign of a full moon. In fact there was nothing there at all. He remained puzzled for a few seconds, before he noticed something on the floor. Lupin felt as if somebody had just kicked him hard in the stomach.

She lay quiet and motionless on the ground, just like she had the previous night at the ministry. But this time it was worse. There was blood gathering slowly around her, all coming from one large gash across her chest. It didn't take a second glance to tell him that her injury has been caused by a werewolf. The feeling he had felt the previous night returned in full force, but it was stronger. Guilt and grief beyond anything he could explain raged and tore at his insides. He tried to say the spell, but he couldn't talk, he could barely move at all.

He knew it wasn't real. He tried to tell this to himself… to scream it, but the words wouldn't come. He stood there for a few seconds, paralyzed in fear. Then, summing up every ounce of courage inside him, he swallowed the lump in his throat.

'RIDDICULOUS!' He roared

And like that, she vanished. Lupin stood alone, his chest heaving and his heart pounding furiously inside it. He suddenly felt very small. The truth was that Lupin was scared. He had just realized something that both exhilarated and terrified him.

CRASH

'_Tonks!'_

'Sorry!' a distant voice groaned from downstairs as Mrs Black began to screech the house down. Lupin hardly heard her at all; his thoughts were silent, but they seemed big enough and loud enough to be heard over anything. He looked at the spot on the floor where she had just been. His legs threatened to go from under him so he sat down shakily. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the image of her lying there, out of his mind.

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><p>Tonks made her way up the third flight of stairs, she had been sent by Mrs Weasley to find Lupin and tell him that the meeting was starting. It didn't look it, but Grimauld Place was a <em>big<em> house. Tonks was looking in the seventh room, just about to give up when she spotted him.

He was sat down on a bed, illuminated by the dusty sunlight filtering though the round window. The room looked as if it hadn't been touched in years. There was dust everywhere apart from the newly made footprints on the wooden floor. Dust particles hung, suspended in the air. It was warm, quiet and very peaceful. Remus however, looked the opposite.

His face was as white as the sheets of the bed he was sat on. He was staring furiously at the floor, his hands clasped very tightly together. He looked as if he'd just seen something awful. Tonks noticed his eyes were very red.

'…Remus?' Tonks said tentatively, her face full of concern. He started and looked up. 'Are you alright?' She walked towards him slowly. He was looking at her with an odd expression in his eyes.

'Fine' He stood up abruptly and cleared his throat. 'Thanks for the butterbeer and the company last night, by the way' He smiled weakly

'It was my pleasure' She beamed back at him 'I'm sorry for falling asleep on you… literally' She laughed, so did Lupin. There was silence for a few seconds.

Lupin looked into her face and an impulse inside him took over, leading him to do something so unlike himself he could scarcely believe he'd done it.

Tonks studied Remus, hard. She was really starting to worry now. '…Are you _sure _you're alri-'But she never finished her sentence. This was because Lupin had moved forward and kissed her.

The moment his lips met hers, her heart began to race. She couldn't believe it was happening. Every inch of her skin tingled, and butterflies began to stir in her stomach. He went to move back after the kiss but she grabbed a fistful of his robes and pulled him towards her. Taken by surprise, he tentatively put his hand on her back as he kissed her again. He then moved his hand up her hair, it flushed scarlet the moment he touched it. She broke into a smile against his mouth and he laughed gently, they both seemed incapable of speech.

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><p>Mad-eye Moody leant back in his chair and took a gulp from his hipflask, his magical eye whizzing around as usual before it rolled up into his head to look above him. Both his eyes immediately widened in shock.<p>

'MERLINS BEAR-'he spluttered and choked on his drink, Sirius clapped him hard on the back.

'Are you okay, Alistor?' Mr Weasley asked, concerned

'Fine, Arthur, Fine…' He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his coat, thinking fast 'Just need to slow down a little' He raised his hipflask and laughed, heartily. Nobody noticed, but the laugh didn't quite reach his remaining eye. Anybody who knew him well enough could have told that Mad-eye looked angry. As if he'd just seen something, of which he didn't approve in the slightest.

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><p>For Remus, the rest of that order meeting passed in a blur of complicated discussions about giants and dementors. His already lifted spirits were boosted even higher when he learned that Harry wasn't going to be expelled from Hogwarts in the end. They were going to have a little celebration after the meeting. Although he was thrilled, Remus wanted to skip it. This was because he needed to talk to Tonks. After their kiss, neither of them had mentioned the subject at all. There was merely a long pause before Tonks proposed that they went downstairs.<p>

He looked at her from across the table and saw that she was already staring at him. They looked away simultaneously. He looked back and saw pink rising in her cheeks, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again. Just once more.

But through all this there was a nagging voice in the back of his head, causing a degree of guilt to rise steadily in his chest. _She's too young for you. _

It would seem that he was not alone in this particular opinion. Mad-eye glared at him from across the room, but Remus remained blissfully unaware of his onlooker. His mind was busy replaying that kiss over and over; each time made his heart beat furiously fast. After the meeting was over and Molly began to set up for the party, he looked around for her. But she was nowhere to be seen. Then he spotted her (now chestnut) curls out of the corner of his eye, she slipped out of the room into the hall. He heard the front door open, then close.

His heart sank. He didn't bother trying to follow her. Instead he turned to greet Harry who just walked through the door. Harry looked ecstatic as well as just a tiny bit sheepish. His resemblance to James was uncanny, causing a fleeting pang of grief for Lupin, as it often did.

'Cleared! Of all charges!' Lupin beamed at him and pulled him into a hug. When he released him, Harry was grinning from ear to ear. 'I suppose that deserves a butterbeer' Lupin winked at him before handing him a bottle and leaving him to Ron and Hermione.

He watched from the corner of the room as Sirius too, hugged Harry. Lupin saw the very smallest trace of disappointment in his handsome face. He knew that he would never, ever, admit to anyone that it was there, but a small part of him wanted Harry to stay. But Lupin saw it. He had a feeling that he was the only one who knew Sirius well enough to. It was heartbreaking to watch the shift in his expression when Harry turned away, Lupin decided to take him out of the party atmosphere for a while, besides he didn't know if it was just his imagination but Mad-eye had been glaring at him for the last few minutes straight.

He took Sirius by the arm and pulled him into the reasonable quiet of the hall. Sirius didn't even need to ask why he'd done it. They stood in awkward silence for a few seconds.

'Don't make him feel guilty, Sirius'

Lupin could see Sirius visibly bristle at this remark. 'Don't you dare accuse me of-'but he stopped mid-sentence. Lupin saw Sirius' expression shift from defensive to pure loathing in a split second. He turned around and saw Snape had just come through the door, his face somehow, even more punchable than usual.

'What do _you_ want?' The miniscule amount of patience that Sirius usually had for Snape was today, simply non-existent.

'Manners, Black. Just because you have the responsibility of an irritable housewife doesn't mean you have to act like one.' Snape drawled.

'You slimy little-'Sirius began, Lupin cut in just in time as Sirius raised his wand.

'What do you want, Severus?' Lupin asked calmly. He held onto Sirius wrist tightly, frowning.

'Dumbledore'

'He's not here. Now get out of my house' Sirius said rudely, his eyes boring into Snape's.

'With pleasure' Snape replied, the trace of a smirk playing round his mouth. 'You know, if it _really _is the _only_ thing you have to do, I would have expected it to be… well, actually clean.' He cast a contemptuous glance around the gloomy hallway. And with that Snape turned to leave.

Lupin felt Sirius shaking with anger, he knew what was coming before it happened.

'Protego!' Lupin shouted, stepping in between them and casting a shield charm. Two different curses bounced off it and hit the walls. Mrs Black began to stir.

'GET OUT!' Sirius thundered, barely audible above the noise. Snape didn't need to be told twice. Mr Weasley along with Fred and George fought admirably to get the curtains shut on the painting. By the time they succeeded, Sirius had disappeared upstairs.

Lupin's briefly uplifted heart was now heavy with concern for Sirius and anxiety over Tonks. Had she regretted kissing him? Had she even wanted to? And why had she left so abruptly? Lupin didn't feel in the mood to be around this much happiness, he feared he would darken the atmosphere. So after waiting ten minutes he gave his excuses and goodbyes before heading off, back home.

He stopped in his tracks on the steps leading down from Grimauld place and mentally changed his destination, there was something he needed to do first.

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><p><strong>Please let me know what you thought :) Thanks for reading, and hopefully it won't be long untill the next update. Bye bye xxx<strong>

**Ps: If you get the chance, I would much appreciate you checking out my new story 'Dystopia' It's a bit different and I'm quite anxious about it. I would love to hear your opinion xxx**


	5. Dora

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed/Alerted/Favorited this story, you have made me very happy! Also a Massive thank you to ThisLoveHasNoCeiling for reading though this and just generally being a massive help and support. All you Lupin/Tonks fans go and check out her stories immediately if you havent already! xxx**

**Anyways, I shall keep you waiting no longer! Enjoy :)**

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><p><strong>Dora<strong>

'Beth! Where _are _you?' Tonks muttered to herself, her concern for her friend now growing by the minute.

Tonks had been to Beth's house, back to her own flat, work, even Beth's parents' house and finally The Three Broomsticks. She was nowhere to be found. Deciding to take a rest, she sat down on a wall and looked around the village of Hogsmeade. The air grew colder as she skimmed the street with her eyes, not quite sure what she was searching for. However Tonks took no notice of the chill, her mind was far too occupied with anxiety for her friend and, of course, Remus Lupin.

She knew she shouldn't have run off like that. But she was really, really starting to worry about Beth. Also Lupin had kissed her! He had kissed her! _Her_! She didn't think she'd be able to handle acting even remotely normal for a while. The cold began to raise goosebumps on her skin as she searched.

After a few minutes she stood up abruptly. She was being silly. Beth was _fine. _She knew how to look after herself and if she wanted to be on her own for a while, then there was nothing wrong with that. Just to be sure though, Tonks made a mental note to write her an owl. With this decided she thought it time to go home. Walking through the now, dimly lit village she was distracted by a window display in a jewellery shop. She stopped and stared at the impressive collection of dazzling necklaces and bracelets, teeming with jewels. However, it was none of those things that had caught her attention. In the corner of the display shelf, looking as if it had been left there by accident, was a fragile looking silver chain, hanging from it, a single honey coloured jewel in the shape of a water droplet. The gem twinkled at her. It looked odd in the shadows, almost as if it glowed of its own accord. Tonks dragged herself away from the curious necklace, smiling at her own childlike wonder over a simple piece of jewellery.

Yawning widely, Tonks hauled herself up the stairs towards her flat door. She was freezing cold; her thin cloak was no match for Hogsmeade in September. She was just beginning to think about the warm bath, waiting for her inside when she reached her flat door. It was then that she spotted the person sitting outside it. He stood up.

'Remus?'

His eyes were full of a burning restlessness. The look, in Tonks' opinion, made him extremely sexy.

'Hi' He replied, a little breathlessly for somebody who had just been sitting down. He paused, then blurted out '-Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you like that and if- if' He was beginning to fumble over his words. Why did she have to be so distractingly beautiful? '…it made you feel uncomfortable in any way then I…' But it was his turn to be interrupted.

'Why would you think it made me uncomfortable?' She demanded. Lupin looked taken aback, and if she wasn't mistaken, relieved.

'Well you left…' He said pathetically. 'I just thought that…'

He felt himself being pushed backwards. The door clicked open and they stumbled through it. He could see none of this however, though the haze of pink hair that seemed to suddenly surround him. Tonks was kissing him furiously, her hands slowly clutched a fistful of his shirt as he pushed her backwards onto the couch. Lupin ran his hands through her hair, lost in the moment. However, in between breathless kisses, the voice at the back of his mind began to speak to him. _She's too young. _Tonks pulled him towards her, his hands moved up her waist, _You're too poor._ She began to unbutton his shirt. _You're a bloody werewolf! _He found himself not caring as he moved even closer to her. _Mad-Eye is going to kill you… _

Lupin stopped abruptly.

'What's wrong?' She asked him, breathlessly. Her hair was now a fiery red.

'It's too soon.' He answered . There was a long pause.

He sat upright on the sofa and she followed suit, her chest still rising and falling heavily. 'Okay…' She answered slowly. '…Would you like a drink?'

'No' He said abruptly. Tonks looked at him in surprise. He stood up. 'Sorry' He said, he looked like he meant it. The buttons on his shirt were still half undone so Tonks was having trouble focussing on his face. When she did however, she saw something complicated happening in his kind, hazel eyes. 'I don't mean to be rude. I have to go, I have to…' He made his way towards the door then turned to look at her. 'I'm not very good for you, Nymphadora. And you're very …addictive. It's too soon' He repeated

'Don't_ call_ me…' She began but Lupin interrupted her with a gentle laugh. Her stomach did a happy summersault.

'I'm sorry' He said '…Dora' He added cheekily.

Tonks looked into his eyes. Was he… flirting with her? 'Do you have to be so bloody Noble?' She asked him, frowning.

There was only one word Lupin could think of at that moment. _Werewolf._ He didn't say anything. He couldn't decide what to do. He wanted her, more than anything, and yet he knew he should stay away from her. His mouth acted before his brain had a chance to decide.

'Do you want to go on a date with me?' He blurted out, cringing at how these words sounded. He could practically hear Sirius laughing at his lack of tact. Tonks broke into a wide smile. It was the most beautiful thing he'd seen all day.

* * *

><p>Tonks sat shakily down in front her fire, her heart pounding furiously. She couldn't quite take in what had just happened. After a couple of minutes of disbelieving staring, she decided that a cup of tea was always best for those in shock. It was when she stepped into her kitchen that she spotted the letter on the side. She recognised Beth's handwriting at once, Tonks seized it and began to read.<p>

_Tonks,_

_Y__ou're an amazing friend and I'm sorry. __T__he Ministry has been watching me for too long. __T__arget all of the bastards while I'm gone. _

_Y__ou're the best Auror around so they'll tell you everything. __I__n all honesty, I'm pregnant and worried they'll arrest me.__ D__ange__r__ is something you understand so forgive me._

_G__et together with Remus while I'm gone. __A__way from you is going to be lonely and that thought will cheer me up. __A__nd I'm not a spy, honestly. __H__ide this letter when you've read it._

_I__'m only lying low for a little while. __S__orry to tell you like this._

_Beth xxx_

Tonks stared at the message. Her excitement over Remus was ebbing away slowly as it was replaced with a very different feeling. She had to read it a few times through before it made sense. From the looks of it, Beth was being spied on by the Ministry (more than usual) and still had no idea why. She had fallen pregnant and had now run from the Ministry for a while, just in case they tried to arrest her. Tonks frowned. It wasn't like Beth at all to run away from anything. She felt a pang of fear go out to her Friend. Beth must have thought she was in serious trouble to actually run away, Tonks prayed with every fibre of her being for Beth and her baby's safety.

There was one more thing that was bothering her. The letter was written very strangely. It didn't sound like Beth at all, but it was definitely her writing. _She must have been in a hurry. _Tonks this, she still tapped the message with her wand to see if she could reveal any magically hidden messages. Nothing happened. She sighed, read the letter again and then put it down. Tonks still couldn't shake the feeling that Beth had intended another message with her words. A lump rose in her throat, tears began to gather in her eyes and before she knew it, they were tumbling down her face.

Her friend was far away, pregnant, terrified, possibly in huge amounts danger and she had left Tonks alone at an ever growingly corrupt ministry. Tonks was very scared, things were changing. A war was coming and not even the promise of a date with Remus Lupin could lessen that feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach.

Well ok, maybe a little bit.

* * *

><p><em>It's not going to be awkward. It's not going to be that awkward. It won't be too bad. Just act like normal. It's not going to be that awkward.<em>

It was going to be awkward.

Tonks was furiously trying to convince herself to go to Grimmauld place. She needed to go there that morning. Dumbledore and Kinglsey both needed to talk to her and she also wanted to tell Mad-eye about Beth.

"_You're an amazing friend and I'm sorry"_

Tonks had memorised her friend's letter word for word. But Tonk's biggest concern at that moment was what to do if Lupin was there. She was fairly sure they would have to keep last night a secret. She grinned despite herself. It was going to be awkward.

She drained the water from her hair with a towel, shook it out and to her surprise it had turned healthy, bouncy and a light shade of maple brown. Tonks touched it gently with her fingers; Remus Lupin was beginning to have an obvious effect on her. She squeezed her eyes shut and it turned pink once more.

"_The Ministry have been watching me for too long" _

Tonks climbed the steps to the front door of number twelve Grimauld place, her mind still on Beth's letter. For an old, abandoned house, it always seemed to be buzzing with activity she thought as she stepped through the door to the smell and sounds of bacon sizzling in a pan.

'May God bless you Molly Weasley' Lupin's voice drifted into the hallway from the kitchen. Tonks froze as she heard Molly laugh.

'Have another slice, go on, you look practically skin and bone' She heard Sirius laugh at this.

'I don't know Molly, he's been livelier than I've seen him in a long time recently. I don't know what you're feeding the man…'

There were more laughs at this, but a much closer voice made Tonks jump out of her skin.

'Do you mind getting a bloody move on?' Came a gruff voice from behind her 'There's a queue.'

Mad-eye came into the house from behind her and saw the expression on her face.

'What's wrong?' He said at once.

Tonks quickly tore her mind away from Lupin. 'Mad-eye…' She was the only one who was allowed to call him that to his face 'It's Beth. She's gone.' She told him the whole story, there and then in hushed tones, as not to wake Mrs Black. She told him about Beth's letter and about the bit that told her to keep an eye on Fudge's lot.

"_Target all the bastards while I'm gone"_

Mad-eye looked apprehensive. 'She shouldn't have run off' He growled 'Whatever they thought she was up to, they'll be sure of it now.'

Tonks knew he was right. What had Beth got herself into?

'We need to look for her, right?'

'No.' He barked at her 'Don't bring any attention to the girl. Hopefully the ministry will be too busy lying about Dumbledore to chase a junior Auror. Now go get some breakfast.' He patted her roughly on the back. 'You look bloody terrible'

* * *

><p>Tonks stared resolutely at her toast as she ate. The colour that she knew was rising in her cheeks would only get worse if she looked at him.<p>

Kingsley had now joined them and was speaking in between mouthfuls of porridge 'You see, if Voldemort gets the giants under his thumb, it'll be a lot harder to prevent-'

'Shhh' Molly hushed him as Harry and Ron walked in.

'Hello Proffe- Lupin' He corrected himself

'Good Morning, Harry' Lupin replied good naturedly, smiling at him above his cup of tea.

'Hi Tonks'

'Wotcher, Harry' Tonks looked up and winked at him, catching Lupin's eye in the process. Her stomach lurched. Lupin quickly busied himself by pulling a copy of the Daily Profit out of Harry's grasp.

'What's the point in filling your head with rubbish the day before you go to school?' He too winked at Harry. Tonks thought that Harry probably didn't realize how much Lupin cared for him; he practically had two godfathers. Kingsley interrupted her thoughts.

'Tonks, you know that day off you had today?' He asked 'Well…' but she cut him off.

'What time to you need me there?' She asked abruptly, Lupin laughed.

'How fast can you eat toast?' Kingsley replied with a smile.

Tonks stood up and shoved the rest of the toast into her mouth, thinking of the mess that Beth's disappearance would make in the Auror department. It was going to be a long day.

Mad-eye's normal eye watched Lupin as his gaze followed Tonks out of the room.

'You look tired.' He said gruffly, it sounded more like an accusation than an observation.

Lupin swallowed his mouthful. 'I am' he replied, chuckling gently. Mad-Eye didn't return the laugh.

'Late night?' He asked, taking his hipflask out of his coat pocket and flipping open the lid.

'Yes' Lupin replied politely

Mad-eye grunted and took a swig from his flask, all the while his eyes were boring into Remus. There was a very long, very awkward silence where Mad-eye just glared at him. Then, without saying another word, he got up and left. Sirius shot Lupin a look that clearly said _What was all that about?_ Lupin shrugged back, he had no idea.

* * *

><p>Tonks finally threw herself down into her desk chair. She had been on her feet nearly all day. A quick glance at her watch told her it was ten past ten at night. She buried her tired face in her hands. It was two days until her date with Remus, she felt her cheeks blush with pleasure at the thought. She was about to leave when Zain entered the office. He looked as he always did; not a silvery blond hair out of place, his clothes looking exactly as they had that morning and his pinched nose turned up at everything around him. Anyone would have thought he'd been doing nothing all day and Tonks wouldn't be surprised if he had. He sat down at his desk as Tonks stood up.<p>

'Leaving so soon?' He asked in a drawl, rival only to that of Draco Malfoy. Tonks didn't answer.

'She shouldn't have run away, you know. She'll only be in more trouble when they catch her.'

Tonks couldn't help herself as anger at the arrogant man welled up inside her. She knew that Zain wanted a reaction. She decided to give him one. 'Shut up, Zain. She's innocent. She's not working against the bloody Ministry'

Zain smirked. 'No, that's us, isn't it?'

'Shut up!' She looked around even though they were alone before adding in a hiss 'I'm not sure what side you're actually on' He laughed in her face.

'Sides?' He said scathingly 'Picking _sides_ is a sign of weakness. I'm looking out for _me_, Nymphadora. Nothing else'

'But you're in the Ord-' She began before stopping mid-sentence, she couldn't talk about that in the Ministry.

'Safest place to be.' He replied simply 'But seriously. You must know that some secret cake and pumpkin juice round the kitchen table isn't going to save the world.'

'You're a bastard' She spat at him 'Dumbledore…'

'Dumbledore can throw his toys out of the pram as much as he likes' Zain replied, sounding bored 'But he needs me.'

'Well I don't trust you one bit' She shot back

'I'd have never of guessed' He said without even looking at her. He picked up his quill. 'You're in my light' He added. She ignored him.

'What was that the other day then? You didn't seem so smooth when you were begging me to tell you about-'

'Please, Nymphadora.' He chuckled 'I know what his secret weapon is. We don't just meet up to compare tattoos you know' Tonk's eyes automatically shot to Zain's left forearm

'Then why did you…'

'I was testing you.'

'Testing me for what?' She asked, getting more and more frustrated with him. He didn't answer her question, instead he dropped his quill onto the desk and looked up at her.

'Fresh out of Hogwarts, the best trainee the department's seen in years, impeccable duelling skills with a temper to match. You know, if it wasn't for the little blip in your bloodline, you would have made an excellent Death Eater, Nymphadora'

She had been insulted enough. Picking up her bag, she looked at Zain in disgust. 'Stop calling me that' she made her way to the door. 'No' She heard him reply as she left the room.

She didn't look back. Fuming, she made her way down to the Atrium and out into the freezing London night air. Deciding that she couldn't wait two days to see Lupin again she made a split decision and turned on the spot. Less than a second later she was standing outside his house and nearly all of her anger seemed to have evaporated on the journey.

Her heart rate calmed as she walked slowly up the garden path to his front door. Just the thought of seeing him again was making her happy, especially after the day she'd had. The night was quiet and the brilliant stars and full moon shone down at her from the jet black sky as she walked. Lupin's house was quite small, but very pretty. It stood alone down a county lane, just outside of a small village. Surrounding the outside of the house and lining the country lane was a large forest, too overgrown for footpaths that stretched out eventually to fields and farmland. Local rumour was that the forest was haunted. She was moments away from his front door when she heard it.

There was a rustle in the trees, a snap of a twig and then a muffled thumping was getting gradually louder and faster and louder and faster. She heard a branch splinter. Tonks whipped around, her heart beating furiously in her throat. She strained to see in the moonlight. Something was moving amongst the trees…

_The moonlight_.

It hit her like a ton of bricks. It was full moon. A heart stopping growl told her she had remembered too late. Tonks felt her blood turn icy cold. There was a single second's silence.

A huge hairy, terrifying beast erupted from the forest behind her. Snarling and spitting and growling, it headed straight for her. Tonks screamed and stumbled backwards, tripping up over her feet. She landed painfully on her back on the ground.

She saw a pair of haunting, yellow and unfamiliar eyes. The wolf lifted itself onto its hind legs and the backdrop of the full moon illuminated its huge, terrifying figure. She could see each hair of its tangled, mangy fur. Tonks was too frozen with fear to think to do anything but scramble to her feet as she broke out into a cold sweat.

It happened in less than a second.

Three, razor sharp claws slashed excruciatingly down her right forearm. She screamed in agony then, finally finding her feet, did the only thing that made sense in her terrified mind. Instinct took over logic and she ran as fast as she possibly could.

Tonks sprinted faster than she had every done in her life, straight into the dark shadows of the forest. Branches and brambles snapped and cracked under her feet. Some whipped her across her face and body. She could barely see anything as she darted between trees, gasping desperately for air.

As she tore through the trees she felt her arm becoming fast drenched with blood, she was losing a lot of it. She could hear nothing in the woods other than the bounding of paws behind her, getting ever closer, and the furious beating of her own terrified heart. Her arm was burning with pain; she clutched it to her chest, gasping when her foot smashed against a rock. Tonks was sent flying forward.

Every single second she had spent training as an Auror gave her quick thinking to spin around as she fell. Tonks prayed with every bone in her body that it would work. She caught a fleeting image of huge teeth and blood, heard a petrifying howl and felt the pain from her arm ripple through her body before it was all gone.

Tonks smashed into the front door of her flat and slid, limply to the floor. She knew she was being stupid, irresponsible, and irrational. But she couldn't go to Mungo's, she couldn't go to Sirius. Nobody could know what she'd done. He could never know. Gasping, wheezing, trembling and crying she staggered to her feet. Blood began to drench her clothes, it flowed freely onto the floor and door. With an uncontrollably shaking hand she fumbled and rattled the door handle which was slippery with blood. Finally the door opened and she lurched inside, clutching her wounded arm to herself, she was immediately sick on the floor.

The pain from her wound seared through her arm. She cried out in agony. She needed something to stop the bleeding. Her face had gone completely white and she began to feel very, very dizzy. She grabbed a shirt from her laundry as her legs gave way. She collapsed onto the floor, struggling to stay conscious.

_I can't black out. I have to stop the bleeding. Stay awake, Tonks. You FUCKING IDIOT._

She lay on the floor and stared across the room. Black spots were appearing in her vision. She felt as if she was going to be sick again. Gathering all the strength she possessed she dragged herself across the floor into the kitchen. Pressing the shirt down hard and painfully onto her wound, she stopped for breath, taking deep gulps of air and trying to keep enough oxygen in her to stay conscious. She was sliding around in her own blood now, it was smeared across the floor, her clothes and her face.

Crying out in pain again, she lifted her good arm and felt desperately around on the kitchen side until her hand clasped around her first aid kit. She gasped for air again. Tonks pulled it clumsily down onto the floor, spilling out its contents. She fumbled desperately for the bottle she needed. She began to cry when she realised she would need both hands to open it. She grimaced in pain as she tried to get off the lid. A fresh wave of blood oozed out of the gash in her arm. It was far too slippery to open and she was getting weaker and weaker. She could smell the sickeningly sweet, metallic smell of blood. Eventually she got the lid off the bottle and with a shaking hand she closed her eyes and emptied the whole thing onto her arm.

'AAARRRGGGHHH' She yelled out loud. She could hear the hiss as the potion began to burn her arm. Her vision has started to become blurry. She dared a look. The wound hadn't healed, she hadn't expected it to, but it was better. She turned even more pale and she grabbed the shirt off the floor. She curled up on the ground, using her entire body to push the fabric against the wound. She winced with every shaky breath. She could taste blood. Then, finally her sore, red eyes flickered shut and everything became black.

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><p><strong>There you go! Sorry for the bit of a cliff hanger (revenge). Please, please let me know what you thought in a review! I love hearing your opinions and I want to know if anyone spotted it ;) Untill next time, take care xxx<strong>


	6. Secrets

**I'm not going to bother apologising for how long it took me to update, because everyone who started reading this story has now died of old age. Just an enormous thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter. You make me so Harry, you're the reason I carry Ron. Hermione good at these jokes? No? no. Sorry.**

**I'll shut my face now and let you read.**

**Secrets**

Tonks very slowly but surely began to wake from her sleep. Her head was pounding, her arm was throbbing painfully and every muscle in her body ached horribly. And then she remembered. Every horrific detail of the night before hit her with the force of a punch to the stomach. She couldn't open her eyes. She didn't want to accept it as reality. Not yet. As she lay there, regaining her senses, she began hear a constant tapping sound.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap… She wrinkled her nose in annoyance and she felt the dried blood on her face. She daren't open her eyes though. Not yet. Tonks stirred slightly, really feeling the effect of spending the night on her kitchen floor.

_That was odd…_ Her head was resting on something soft; it felt like a coat or a jacket, the buttons pressed painfully against her cheek. She was also aware of something thin covering her; she moved again, it moved with her. Then the tapping stopped.

She opened her eyes.

* * *

><p>'I'll kill him' Sirius said darkly. His arms were folded across his chest, his feet were thrown up onto the table and his eyes were narrowed as he looked at his best friend across the empty kitchen table with concern.<p>

'I don't think that'll be necessary, Sirius' Remus replied coolly as he shovelled cereal into his mouth. He was _starving. _'I mean he doesn't actually _have_ to make it for me'

Sirius let out a growl that sent a horrible shudder down Remus' spine. 'Dumbledore clearly told him to make you Wolfsbane _every_ month. This is about the other day' Sirius said, his voice rose slightly 'I know it is!'

'Calm down Sirius' Said Lupin as he put down his spoon and got up to refill his bowl 'It's not full moon anymore. It doesn't matter'

'Just because he doesn't _like _you' Sirius ignored him and continued 'That's no excuse! It would have taken him a few minutes to make it. That little…' Sirius called Snape something too rude to repeat and then lowered his voice a little 'And I know… how bad full moon is for you without it, Remus. You know I do.'

Lupin looked over his shoulder at his friend as he tipped cereal into his bowl. 'Look at me, Sirius, I'm fine' He smiled at him. 'Honestly'

Sirius did look at him, hard. And although he still had that worn down, tired look that he always had after full moon, he looked younger, healthier…_happier. _'Yeah you do look fine' Sirius said curiously. Lupin looked better than he had since… an idea struck him. 'And if I didn't know any better,' Sirius continued 'I'd say you'd found yourself a lady friend'

Remus turned his back on Sirius again as he poured milk into his bowl. 'Yeah' He said before adding 'Something like that'

Sirius let out a bellowing, gleeful laugh. 'Well go on!' He said impatiently, sitting up and grinning. He couldn't remember the last time Lupin had got himself a girlfriend. 'What's she like?'

Lupin put down the milk bottle and while his back was still to Sirius, he allowed the smile he had been suppressing all morning to finally stretch across his face.

'Perfect'

* * *

><p>At first, the light painfully stung her eyes and everything in her view was a hopeless blur. After a little while she began to see clearer. She saw the blood, still smeared all over the floor and as her eyesight began to focus she spotted something that made her jump. Sharply in focus and right in the centre of her vision was the sole of a shoe. Tonks blinked hard and then gasped at the sudden sight of the man wearing it.<p>

'Are you going to explain, or do I have to guess?'

Slasior Zain was sat on Tonks' kitchen floor, leaning against the cabinet and looking right at her. His shirt was covered in her blood, one hand was on the floor, tapping on the tiles with his fingers and clasped in the other, was Beth's Letter. Tonks said nothing and instead just stared at him in shock.

'Well?' He said impatiently.

Tonks tried to speak, but she couldn't, her mouth was too dry. 'Here' Zain thrust a glass at her; it was filled with a revolting looking black potion. She looked at him in disgust. 'Drink it' He said impatiently 'Go on. It'll help the pain too'

She pushed off the cloak that was covering her and took it from him with a trembling hand. Tonks downed the whole thing in one. It tasted horrific. She then put the glass down with a thud and said exactly what she was thinking.

'What - what are you doing here? Get out of my flat!'

'Charming' He responded dryly while resolutely not moving a muscle. 'You're welcome for, you know, saving your life and whatnot'

'I was fine' she said coolly. She didn't feel comfortable being this vulnerable around him. She sat up groggily and noticed that her arm had been tightly bound in a white bandage.

'Yeah, that's what I thought when I found you bleeding to death on your kitchen floor in the middle of the night.' His eyes were cold and hard. 'What happened?'

Tonks ignored him. 'What, so you just waltz into other peoples home's whenever you feel li-'

'The door was open.'

'And what made you think I neede-'

'The trail of your blood on the floor' He cut in again, darkly. 'What happened?'

'What were _you _doing outside my flat door' she shot back.

'When you left the office in such a hurry last night, you took my bag with you, not your one'

'Oh' Tonks said, feeling a little embarrassed. There was a silence. Zain hoisted himself up, picked up his jacket that had been folded under her head and watched Tonks struggle to her feet. He didn't help her, he just stared, his eyes narrowed.

'The werewolf' He said darkly 'Lupin attacked you, didn't he?'

Tonks felt her heart plummet in fear. 'No!' She said desperately before realising that there was no point in lying. 'No. Zain, listen.' She said quickly, panic was quickly spreading throughout her whole body. 'It was my fault. It was me. I went there and it was full moon and he scratched me and…'

'Scratched?' He scoffed 'Nymphadora, that's not a fucking scratch. Moody would…'

'No!' She said even more desperately than before. He looked at her in casual surprise 'Zain, please' She was begging him now.

'Look, you're just lucky I didn't take you to Mungo's. I really think it's something the Order…'

'PLEASE! Nobody can know. You can't tell anyone. Please. Promise you won't tell anyone. Zain…'

'Alright' He said, raising an eyebrow. 'Keep your knickers on' He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. 'It's not like I actually care' It was then that Tonks spotted Beth's letter in his grasp.

'What's…' Both her voice and her face darkened like thunder 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?' She went to snatch it back off him, he moved it out of her reach.

'Tetchy' He said, one eyebrow cocked up in curiosity. Tonks grabbed it out of his hand and shoved it back into the drawer that it had been living in. 'Did you read it?' She demanded.

'Yes' He replied immediately.

'Get out' She said, her voice trembling in anger, fear and emotion from the night before. 'You keep quiet and you get the hell out.'

Zain picked up his cloak off the floor. 'Do me a favour and don't get killed by the Werewolf. I can't have half of my team missing and the other half dead. There's only so much paperwork I can deal with.'

'Is that why you stayed the whole night then?' She asked harshly before adding, 'and we're not _your team_'

'Don't flatter yourself Nymphadora' He was half way to the door before he turned round. 'Shall we not gallivant with werewolves at the full moon in the future? And also, steady on… he's twice your fucking age' Then with one last contemptuous glance he left, slamming the door shut behind him. Tonks sank into an armchair, and for the second time in two days, did something very, very unlike her usual self. Bringing her knees to her chest, she began to cry, uncontrollably into her semi-bandaged arms.

* * *

><p>Sirius was handing out drinks as Order members began to arrive. It was one of the big meetings tonight, one of those juicy ones with lots of arguments and strategy, along with plenty of Umbridge bashing. By the sounds of it, she was going down a real treat at Hogwarts. For some reason, Sirius had a fleeting mental image of Fred and George's mischievous faces. He grinned widely, what he wouldn't give to watch one of their Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons. Those two could take down the Ministry of magic on their own.<p>

'Moony?' Sirius called down the table at Lupin, to ask him what he wanted.

'Use your brain' He called back. Sirius chuckled and threw him a Butterbeer. Molly sighed at Sirius, watching him throw the drink with an exasperated expression. Remus summoned the bottle as it flew, catching it neatly in his right hand. Once everyone that had already arrived was supplied with drinks, apart from Snape, Sirius sat down. He had made the point of telling Snape loudly that he _would_ get him a drink but unfortunately he was far too busy with Order work to do so. Remus looked down quickly as an appreciative smile flickered across his face.

It was then that Tonks arrived late; dressed typically casually in her tight, black jeans and lilac T-shirt with 'The Weird Sisters' printed across the front. Lupin noticed that the whole lower part of her left arm was wrapped in a white bandage. Her dark eyes were sparkling as ever and her hair was a deep strawberry red. It fell in loose waves around her face and her lips were a matching shade. She made her entrance by tripping into the room over a loose floorboard and cursing, she caught Lupin's eye and her cheeks quickly joined both her hair and lips in colour. Lupin had to hide his smile again as she immediately sat down next to him.

Her fear and her dread and her sorrow and her pain that she had been feeling that day, all evaporated at once. He was not the wolf that attacked her, he never was and he would never be. The weight of the world was lifted from her shoulders and all it took was a mere flicker of a smile.

His heart began to speed up and he did all he could to remain looking casual. This was going to be difficult. Sirius threw her a drink, which she missed but Remus caught and handed to her with a smile. Sirius watched his best friend and his cousin carefully for a moment, but Dumbledore cut off his train of thought as the meeting began.

It was intense tonight. The main topic of conversation was Bellatrix Lestrange. After the mass breakout the year before, all of the death eaters were causing trouble. But she was by far the worst. The most sickening of all news was that Voldemort had started speculating about trying to break into Hogwarts.

The mere thought of this made Tonks feel physically sick, not only because it had been her home for seven years, but because she was one of two people who knew how to do it. Herself and of course, Dumbledore. You see, contrary to popular belief (Including the contents of 'Hogwarts: A History') there was a way to get past the many protective spells and enchantments that protected the castle. There was a password. Just one word that could stand between a large group of bloodthirsty Death Eaters and the School. Dumbledore had entrusted her with this password. He knew that it was a possibility that he would be driven out of Hogwarts. And on the basis that, if there was an emergency and Harry needed to be kept safe; Dumbledore wanted somebody to be able to get to him before Umbridge. Somebody that Harry knew, liked, and trusted. It couldn't be Sirius, because he couldn't leave the house. It couldn't be Lupin because there are certain times that he would be _unavailable._ It couldn't be Snape. Harry hated Snape. So Tonks was trusted with the password. The top secret, destroy after reading, nobody can ever know on pain of death password.

Tonks hated responsibility.

She smiled as she remembered the day she got that letter from Dumbledore. Remus had taken it to her flat. He'd left a note on top. She also knew that he'd looked at her drawings. She would have at least expected him to at least _try_ and put them back in the same place. She smiled again.

It was then that she felt a piece of parchment slide under her fingers. She saw Lupin's hand leave it there and then return under the table. She looked up at his face, but he was staring innocently and in apparent fascination at Kingsley, who was speaking. Tonks looked down.

The words, _Still on for tomorrow night?_ Had been scrawled in his messy handwriting. She immediately scribbled a reply.

_Why, of course._

She felt him nudge her foot with his a few seconds later and she looked down once more.

_Where do you want to go?_

_Surprise me. _

Lupin smiled. She would regret that.

_How about we go dancing?_

_No!_

_Why not?_

_I can't dance._

_I know, you've told me. But you said I could choose._

_I said you could surprise me, not traumatise me._

Lupin suppressed a laugh.

_I'm sure you're dancing isn't that bad ,Dora._

_Ha. I guess you'll find out._

_I guess I will. What happened to your arm? _

She froze. Her heart began to pound furiously. She wrote her reply very carefully, thanking Merlin that he hadn't asked her face to face.

_Burnt it. Think I'll leave the cooking to Molly and The Three Broomsticks from now on. _

She saw him smile out of the corner of her eye and she relaxed. He believed her.

_Mad-eye is staring at me._

Lupin wasn't wrong there. Moody's wizened and unsettling eyes had both been fixed on Lupin for the last minute or so. Tonks suddenly felt guilty, because she knew why May-eye was angry. They should be paying attention, not sending notes. Constant vigilance and all that. She scrawled her final reply.

_Yes. Perhaps, less note making and more note taking. _

His lack of reply told her that he agreed. It didn't stop Mad-eye from staring at him however. As the meeting drew to a close, Sirius was getting more and more frustrated. Lupin felt for his friend, he knew what it was like, not being able to work because nobody trusts you. At the end of the meeting, Sirius skulked past him upstairs, muttering something about 'The most noble and ancient house of twat'

Lupin was about to leave behind Kingsley when he felt a hand grip his shoulder and pull him into a separate room. It was a study, lined with dusty bookshelves which were teaming with huge books about the dark arts. Moody's ragged face was just about visible in the dim light.

'A word, Remus.'

* * *

><p>Slasior Zain walked quickly through the heavy rain, his face bowed downwards. He ran up the path towards his front door and had just made it inside before there was a knock on it. He took a deep breath, grasped the brass handle and opened it once more. Rookwood stood in the doorframe, in all his unpleasantness. A flash of well-timed lightning, illuminated his frame. He chuckled a thick, chilling laugh. Something was exciting him.<p>

'So, Zain, where is she? Where's the girl?' His eyes were alight with an unsettling fire.

Slasior kept his face stony, his voice steady and his features unremittingly impassive. He replied after just a moment's silence.

'She's dead. I killed her.'

If it wasn't for the raging storm, the wind and the rain, Rookwood might have heard a noise coming from the room above.

A frightened little thump that would have told him Zain was a liar.

* * *

><p>Having to go back to work after an evening Order meeting was usually pretty high on Tonk's list of things she hated more than anything on earth. But tonight she didn't mind that much. She was too happy. She had a date with Remus Lupin! The words sounded silly in her head, as if they couldn't possibly be true. She was so cheerful; she hadn't even complained when she was given no night surveillance to do and simply had to finish off the department reports for that month.<p>

There was only one thing however, that could ruin her almost deliriously happy disposition. Zain. She didn't want to see him. Not after last night. She didn't want to think about what had happened, Tonks touched her arm gently. He had saved her life and because of it, she hated him now even more than she had before. She didn't want to _owe_ Slasior Zain anything. And now she owed him everything.

A Ministry memo zoomed around her head and landed neatly on her desk. She opened it, without paying much attention until she saw that it was from Kingsley and by the look of it, written in a hurry. It was composed of four short sentences.

_Found out why Beth was under surveillance. Zain told them to watch her. Told Dumbledore, he still trusts him. I don't. _

It was at this moment she heard somebody coming in; Tonks incinerated the message with a quick flick of her wrist and brushed the ash off her desktop, onto the floor. It was Zain. He sat down at his desk without looking at her. She studied him briefly. His eyes looked tired, even his hair wasn't as inhumanly neat as it usually was. A few minutes passed in excruciating silence before Tonks decided that she couldn't just ignore him. She looked at him quickly.

She thought for a second before deciding to say it. 'Thank you for saving my life, Zain.'

He didn't look up, but his eyes narrowed. She saw something flash in his expression, anger, hatred. He sighed, as if a reply was going to be of great effort to him.

'Anytime' He replied coolly.

His answer had still been rude and his manner had still been arrogant. But it occurred to Tonks that it was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to her. Another thought crossed her mind. He hadn't told anyone_, he'd kept his word_.

Tonks looked down and realised that she had made an accidental ink splodge on the report she was writing. As she cleaned it up, she wondered. She wasn't entirely sure that agreed with Kingsley. She might just trust Slasior Zain after all.

* * *

><p><strong>There we are :) Please let me know what you think! A huuuuge thank you to ThisLoveHasNoCeiling for being my Beta and just generally amazing. Thanks to everyone who readsreviews/alerts/favourites... you are the bestest! Take care, and I'll see you for Tonks and Lupin's first date ;)**


	7. Clandestine

**Hi all :) Thought I'd post this to help people deal with the pre-pottermore excitement ;) A massive thank you to everyone who's reviewed and favourited, you are all very, very beautiful. This is part one of Remus' and Tonk's escapade into the dating world, I hope you enjoy :D xxx**

* * *

><p><strong>Clandestine<strong>

Remus Lupin had once been hit with the Cruciatus curse. Just once. During the last war.

It was a rare and evil thing to have happened to a person, even then. And the distant memory was still enough to scare the life out of him. He had never, ever felt nor imagined pain like that and he prayed with every inch of his mind, body and soul, that he never would again.

It was very strange then, however, that for the briefest of moments, as he stood directly in front of a clearly furious Alastor Moody – Lupin thought he might just have preferred it.

Lupin's insides squirmed from the persistent glare of that magical eye and the excruciatingly awkward silence that accompanied it.

'Remus, you're a friend'

'Yes' He replied politely, albeit incredibly confused – what was this about? Why did he look so… angry?

'So you'll answer me honestly' He growled, shuffling back and leaning on his staff.

Lupin looked carefully at Mad-Eye, at the way he was standing and how he was glaring at him, and if he wasn't very much mistaken, Lupin could have sworn he spotted a couple of Auror interrogating techniques. '…Of course' He said sincerely.

'How long-' He scraped his wooden leg a little on the floor as he drew himself up to his full, impressive height. '-have you been sleeping with Nymphadora?'

Whatever he had expected, it hadn't been that. There was a very, very long pause. Lupin stared at him stupidly for a few moments before spluttering over his words and cursing himself for not acting calmer.

'What? What? – No. I mean we're not. What – What are you talking about?'

'Don't lie, Remus, I saw you'

Another silence. They could hear hear the muffled voices and laughter from the hallway. Moody was solemnly refusing to break his gaze, right into Remus' eyes.

Lupin's face blushed redder than the hair of any Weasley. 'You… saw…' He began, confused.

'I saw you kissing her, Idiot.'

There was no point in trying to hide it. The problem was that they weren't even going out, not really. Not yet. He looked at Moody as his insides squirmed uncomfortably. He was beginning to feel extremely guilty. He opened his mouth and shut it again without making a noise. Then he opened it once more and replied tensely 'And you don't approve?'

'Now I can't control what you do, or who you see…' His face when he paused at that moment suggested that he wished otherwise. 'But I can say, that if I get the impression that you – the slightest impression that you have upset, or hurt her in –'

'Alastor, I'm not going to-'

'Shut up. Let me finish.'

He shut his mouth quickly.

'Hurt her in any way… and I'll be using your kneecaps as paperweights.' Moody saw the growing look of anxiety in Remus' face and guessed what he was going to say before he finished saying it.

'Are you-'

'I'm not going to tell anyone else. I'm not sure how thrilled Sirius will be.' He added as Lupin's heart plummeted.

'You're very protective over Tonks' he was finding Mad-Eye the tiniest bit amusing, playing the role of some kind of overbearing Dad. 'You could be her father' He grinned.

Mad-Eye's feature's remained impassive. 'So could you.'

That stung but Lupin ignored the jibe at their age difference. It was something he had bullied himself about relentlessly. It was also something he was choosing to ignore. For the first time, Lupin's air became a little bit hostile. 'She can take care of herself you know, Moody.' The use of his second name made both his eye's fly to Lupin's 'She's a bloody good Auror'

'You'd be surprised'

Remus frowned, surprised about what? Moody shoved his wand back into his robe and grabbed his hipflask in replacement. 'But she _is_ a bloody good Auror… a hell of a good Auror.' He corrected himself as he stepped back and pushed the door open. Remus waited for Mad-Eye to move out of the way, he didn't. Eventually Lupin shuffled uncomfortably around him and into the hall. He didn't need a magical eye to tell him that Moody was watching him the entire time.

He was standing outside his front door less than a minute later. Praying he was never put into a situation like that again, he let himself in.

He'd take the Cruciatus curse any day.

* * *

><p>That next evening couldn't have come fast enough for Tonks. It was ten minutes until her date with Lupin and she was standing in front of her full length mirror, grinning from ear to ear.<p>

'I-look-bloody-amazing'

She wasn't wrong. She turned to her left, then to her right. She was wearing a dress of a deep, dark, inky blue and scattered all over it were tiny clear, glass breads which sparkled like stars against a night sky. She turned around completely and looked at her reflection over her shoulder. Her shadowy pink curls bounced around her shoulders and her eyes sparkled more than her dress. She picked up her cloak from her bed and holding it with one hand, looked around for something to calm her excited mind. Within a few moments, she was lying back on her pillow, reading a very battered copy of 'Quidditch though the Ages' her eyes, occasionally flickering up to look at the pretty girl in the mirror against the wall.

* * *

><p>Remus stood at his kitchen counter, drumming his fingers on the side and trying to make sense of the thoughts that were running around in his mind. Why was he so nervous? His heart was beating fast. He felt as scared as he did on Order missions, he couldn't contain it. He thought of her; her hair, her eyes, her laugh. He was excited, yes, but he was bloody terrified. What was he supposed to do on a date? He began to cringe at imaginary and horrifically embarrassing situations when he felt something brush against his leg.<p>

A deafening purr began to rumble near his feet. A reddish, golden-brown cat, with enormous green eyes, stared affectionately up at him. He smiled warmly at her. 'Hello, Meg' He picked her up and let her cling onto his shoulder as he made a cup of tea. 'You fancy giving me any tips on how to talk to girls?' The purring got louder. 'Helpful' Remus said, tickling her behind her ear. He was glad Sirius wasn't there to witness him.

Meg had been a gift from Sirius years and years ago. He had bought her home in a cardboard box, spellotaped shut with some last minute air holes stabbed into the top with a wand. Lupin had been unemployed, very poor, very bitter, and very dunk at the time. He remembered Sirius' face as he plonked the box down on his kitchen table and said: 'Some responsibility, Remus. Don't let her down' Remus had opened the box to find the smallest, most scared looking bundle of fluff he'd ever seen and he instantly fell in love with her. But ever since that moment, Remus had been subjected to endless spinster jokes from Sirius and James, something he always thought incredibly unfair as he hadn't asked for the thing. Meg had saved him though, no doubt about it. He couldn't drink much after that, not with a kitten wandering around and he also had to venture outside to buy her food and potions. She gave him something to do, a purpose. And it saved him. Just as Sirius knew it would.

He calmed his nerves with a cup of tea and Meg curled up on his lap. He stroked her gently. Then, spotting the time, he pushed her off him and she landed on the floor with an annoyed meow before skulking off. He made his way towards the door, heart beating slowly faster and faster before he disapparated.

* * *

><p>He knocked on Tonk's flat door and waited. He heard her slightly hurried footsteps before it swung open. There stood Tonks, smiling shyly at him.<p>

Wow.

Remus had to make a conscious effort to keep his mouth closed as his jaw threatened to drop completely. She looked beautiful. Her eyes, her hair, her dress, everything was perfect. He suddenly found himself feeling very much like a teenager again, except it was him, not Sirius, who had the gorgeous date. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

Suddenly aware that he hadn't talked in what seemed like an age, Lupin looked her in the eye and said, 'you look beautiful, Dora.' Both her face and hair went bright red for fleeting second.

'Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself'

She beckoned him in as he laughed. He had a look around as she found her cloak and keys. It was odd to think of the last time he was there, he smiled ever so slightly at the memory. They chatted for a few minutes before leaving. Tonk's used her still bandaged arm to open the door for Lupin. She winked at him, he winked back and they both laughed loudly as they left, slamming the door shut behind them.

After the bang of the door, there was quiet. The laughter and the chatter and the movement had gone from Tonk's flat, leaving it still and silent. But by no means empty.

'Where are you taking me then?' Tonks asked as they stepped out into the heaving streets of magical London.

Lupin didn't answer but grinned at her as they began to battle through the crowd of the markets. The slowly setting sun cast an orange glow on the many heads of the people around them. Tonks was finding it difficult to stay with Remus. It was then that she felt him slide his hand into hers, he interlocked their fingers and kept a warm, firm grip on her as they moved. The pink in her hair grew brighter than the pink in the sky.

Soon the streets had cleared, the sky had darkened, and they were making their way, side by side, down a brightly lit alley, hands still clasped together.

'Where are you taking me?' Tonks repeated after a little light conversation.

'A Bar' He answered simply, a small smile on his face 'I made sure it wasn't one of the two that you're banned from…'

Tonks froze. She would kill Sirius. She would kill him. Kill him. Kill…

'…Do you want to tell me why you're banned from two-'

'A story for another time' Tonks cut in smoothly, a bashful smile playing with the corners of her lips. She would Kill him!

Lupin chuckled. 'I'll look forward to it'

Sirius Black was a dead man.

Lupin stopped outside an old fashioned looking pub. Warm, golden light shone through the windows and filtered out through the cracks in the wooden walls. She could hear laughter, singing, shouting, and the chinking and tinkling of rapidly emptying goblets. Music seeped through the wall and shook the floor ever so slightly. Through the open door flew not only light, but the smell of rustic, home cooked food, as well as ale, butterbeer and firewhiskey. Inside Tonks could hear a violin being played very quickly and very well. She heard guitars, drums and an accordion. She could also hear banging and clapping to the merry beat, as well as the scraping of chairs, littered with plenty of cheers and laughter.

Tonks felt something pulling at her heart as she took in everything about the building in front of her. It was one of the Clandestines.

The Clandestine Pubs started during the last war. When Voldemort was at large and the streets at night were dark and quiet, families were hidden, terrified in their houses and the dark mark rose high in the sky. During this time, behind the boarded windows of inconspicuous looking buildings, all over Britain, there was light.

A group of either very brave or very stupid people had joined together in making secret pubs all over London and filled them with music and dancing and laughter and hope when the world needed it the most. Tonks had always longed to go in one, but had never, ever been allowed. If you were found in one of the Clandestines, you were killed there and then, drink still in your hand. Tonks looked at the building now. The boards had been taken off the windows, the door was wide open, a huge gold paint sign swung in the breeze as the music filled the whole street with sound.

Lupin interrupted her thoughts. 'Come on then' He smiled, his eyes sparkling. 'Let's go dancing.' They walked together into the light and the warmth.

* * *

><p>Slasior Zain's heart was beating so quickly in his chest, he was convinced that the other Death Eaters sat around the long black table would be able to hear it. He kept his face as stony as possible. There was a slow, chilling and utterly terrifying laugh. Lord Voldemort leant ever so slightly back, his eyes ablaze with evil.<p>

'Dumbledore's not going to know what hit him. Guess he's losing his touch'

Zain's stomach churned as he heard a few scattered, idiotic laughs.

'Mark the day.' His chilling voice ordered. 'The Order of the Phoenix falls. Tonight.'

Zain used all his strength to control his body. He wanted to be sick, he wanted to sweat, he wanted to shout, to get up and run. But he didn't, he had to act like a Death Eater. He had to convince the darkest wizards in the world that he was working for them. He didn't move at all. He didn't like anyone in the Order of the Phoenix, but he didn't want them dead.

Voldemort had been keeping that certain plan up his sleeve until tonight, a siege on the Order of The Phoenix. He was going to gather up his scummiest Death Eaters and have the Order Members murdered in one night. Being caught off guard and on their own, they wouldn't have a chance and Voldemort knew almost every member of the Order. Zain's brain began to whir furiously.

Molly and Arthur Weasley were fine; they were staying at Grimmauld place for a little longer. Black… he was safe. Fletcher was scrounging a meal off Molly Weasley tonight, he seemed to remember. Kingsley would be in the Ministry. Dumbledore… they wouldn't bloody dare. He tried to think but his brain was becoming too busy, too panicked.

Zain dared a glance at Snape, who was staring blankly directly in front of him, and wondered what was going on behind his glare and if he actually cared at all.

'Completely unsuspecting and completely outnumbered … Such a sad end, for such a sad attempt at resisting me.' He stood up, contented and walked eerily around the room. 'Tell me Bella, when it is done'

'Of course, My Lord'

For an absolute fraction of a second Snape's eyes met his. Avery, Dolohov, Greyback and McNair began to leave. They needed to warn the Order and they were running out of time. Fast.

Whoever wasn't tucked away, safe at number twelve, was now in a huge amount of danger.

* * *

><p>'Bloody hell! Remus!' The man from behind the bar called and waved enthusiastically as they entered. Lupin waved back.<p>

'Do you come here a lot by any chance?' Tonks asked playfully, Lupin smiled back at her.

'I used to'

They shuffled around the dancing in the middle of the room to the bar. Tonks ordered for them as Remus caught up with the bartender, a skinny man whose name was Stephen. Tonks got the impression that they were once very good friends. As the man named Stephan passed her the drinks he said, loud enough that only she could hear, 'Look after him for me, won't you?'

She nodded, confused, before she was whisked away by Remus to a small round, roughly built wooden table. They sat down.

This was it. Their 'date' had officially begun. He grinned at her as he picked up his glass and held it up. Tonks clinked hers against it and they both drank deeply. He then stood up abruptly, grabbed her hand, and pulled her up too.

'What are you… oh no – no!'

He laughed at her. 'Let's go!'

He dragged her backwards into the midst of the dancing and placed both his hands firmly on her waist. He was different, more relaxed, happier, funnier and confident and she loved it. The music started again and Tonks laughed hysterically as he spun her round and they danced quickly to the music, around the room.

Soon the room was full of movement and cheering. The light from the flaming torches around the room lit up his laugh as he spun her round. He was leading, moving her quickly to the beat and her steps seemed to melt into his. Remus watched her. He watched the dimple on her left cheek when she laughed, he watched her hair flush from colour to colour, he watched her dress sparking brilliantly as it flew around and he watched her eyes, studying his.

The violin was playing impossibly fast as happy people were dancing all around and in-between them. Occasionally they were split up and found themselves dancing with somebody else. She caught his eye as he was suddenly skipping round the room with a very old (and very drunk) man with a flyaway beard and she laughed hysterically a sudden affection swelling inside her chest. He reached out and grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, lifted her into the air for a moment and then brought her down, his arms tightly around her waist, her body pressed against his. She grinned at him as he spun her round and then the music stopped. Applause and cheers erupted from the people around them and yelling had already begun for another song.

They stayed perfectly still. Frozen, in the heart of the busy room. Her face was now level with his. She was breathless as she stared at him, gradually her smile faded as her heart began to accelerate. He looked into her eyes, her lips, her eyes. One of the dancing people around them bumped into them, but they didn't notice. Suddenly they were incredibly close, she could feel his warm breath on her face, and he could count the flecks in her eyes. Colours and sounds and movement flashed and danced around them.

He moved forwards and very slowly brushed his lips against hers. The corners of her mouth jerked up into a smile as she kissed them once. His thumb brushed against her back sending a shiver up her spine, and she kissed him again. Warmth spread from the tips of her toes which were skimming the floor right up to the ends of her golden hair. She felt her mouth prickle with electricity as he kissed her properly; she sunk into him, the pounding of her heart ringing loud in her ears. He was holding her as if she was the most precious thing on earth.

Something caught her eye and she gasped. They suddenly broke apart. She stumbled a little and he grabbed her elbow and steadied her.

'Are you okay?' He asked, his brow furrowed

Her eyes had widened in surprise. There was a silver, ethereal looking cheetah behind Lupin, skulking towards them. It was a patronus. Remus spun around, saw it and opened his mouth in surprise. He turned back urgently.

'The Order. We can't let it speak, not in here.'

Tonks and Lupin fought their way to the door and flew out into the now empty alleyway, the cold night air harsh on their flushed faces. The Cheetah spoke, Zain's voice erupting from its mouth but in an urgent whisper.

'Tonks, we didn't know. Don't go to Grimmauld place. Don't Apparate. And don't fight. Hide. Just hide. It's your best hope, do it now. You haven't much time. '

The messaged ended abruptly. The alleyway became even quieter as well as suddenly terrifying.

Remus grabbed her arm and she clung onto him as they both stumbled backwards, searching desperately for somewhere, anywhere to hide.

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><p><strong>Sorry for the little cliffy there, hopefully I won't be too slow getting the next chapter up ;) I just want to say (as usual) Big thank you's and hugs for my glorious Beta ThisLoveHasNoCeiling, without whom this chapter would be illegible. Please let me know what you think, reviews always make me smile :)<strong>

**xxx**


	8. Daybreak

**Hi, sorry its been a while but I'm free of exams now! So I'll hopefully be more reliable... ;) Huge Dumbledore cuddles so everyone that's reviewed so far and a massive thanks to my Beta ThisLoveHasNoCeiling without whom... I don't even want to think about it. Anyway, I shan't keep you waiting any longer. **

**Daybreak **

For the entirety of that evening Tonks had been filled with happiness, excitement and a rich powerful feeling that she only ever felt when she was around Lupin. She had been having a wonderful time. She was wearing a dress for Merlin's sake. A dress! If her mother had seen it she would have burst into tears of joy.

And now it was all gone, and she was suddenly finding herself stumbling backwards, trembling, shaking; heart pounding and looking around wildly like a child, trying to find somewhere to hide, trying to find a snippet of hope. Any happiness, any calm was gone. She was filled with a hot surging, blinding fear. At that moment, Tonks knew she was going to die. She had never been so sure of anything in her life.

'Here!' an urgent voice echoed as if it were right in her ear yet far away at the same time. Tonks had frozen to the spot. 'Come on, Tonks… Come on!'

She took a few short, quick steps in its direction.

'We can't afford for you to-bloody-freeze-right-now.' She turned and suddenly saw Lupin hurtling towards her. He looked just as terrified as she did. His arm reached around her waist and he dragged her along, she began to run with him. He was using one hand to pull something out of his pocket.

'Come on!'

They ran together past one building, two buildings, then…

'Shit!'

It was a dead end. The alleyway stopped, just like that. A cold, dark, merciless brick wall stood, towering above them. Taunting them.

_Crack!_

The sound of somebody apparating threatened to stop Tonk's heart completely. Her instincts took over. Her wand was in her hand and stretched out in front of her in a second.

_Crack!_

_Crack!_

Tonks was raising her wand when she felt somebody grab her and pull her to the floor. She yelped loudly. A hand clapped over her mouth. She tried to see what was happening in the dark.

_Crack!_

There were footsteps echoing off the walls of the buildings and through the silent night air. Tonks lost her struggle and hit the ground with a very muffled _thump._ She yelped again.

'_Shut up! Shut up Dora.' _Lupin hissed in her ear. Tonks obeyed at once because he would never tell someone to shut up unless he was really could just about see him shaking out whatever he had retrieved from his pocket. It shimmered a little in the moonlight.

It was an invisibility cloak.

He seized her around the middle and they both began trying to kick and drag themselves into a corner. The footsteps were getting louder, closer and faster. Tonks felt a jagged piece of stone cut her leg and she took a sharp intake of breath. Suddenly, she was surrounded by the silvery, silky material. Her back hit a cold, hard brick wall.

_Crack!_

She and Lupin grabbed fistfuls of it, pulling it around in panic to cover themselves. She tried to bring her knees to her chest but one of his legs was somehow intertwined with hers. Her foot was sticking out of the cloak, freezing in the cold air.

'Over here, Avery! I said I heard it over here…'

A bone chillingly close voice pierced though the quiet and shattered any kind of false security that the night had given them. Both of his arms snaked around her middle and squeezed. Tonks clung onto one of his legs and they bent towards each other, making themselves as small as possible. They could feel each other's hot, rapid breath, warming their faces and necks.

There was another _crack, _a bang, and a flash of light. Somebody had just blown up a rubbish bin outside the pub.

Tonks did a mad, last minute check to make sure they were completely covered by the cloak. She could feel Lupin desperately trying to steady his breath, to make as little noise as humanly possible.

There were figures in the darkness looming ever closer. Five, six… wait, seven, no, eight. Tonk's decided to stop counting. Lupin's hand found hers and their fingers intertwined.

'…Now what?' She dared to breathe, knowing that Remus would be able to feel her pounding heart against his arms.

'We pray.' He breathed back.

The footsteps were mere metres away from them now.

Tonks held her breath, shut her eyes and took his advice.

They were out of time. The two of them might as well have been made of stone, for they stayed stock still, barely even breathing as they listened, waited, and pleaded their fate. _Let them not be seen. _

Avery towered in front of them, rotating slowly on the spot, looking around the alley and even up at the sky. The whites of his eyes glinted maliciously in the moonlight. Tonks saw two men over each of his shoulders. Tonks recognised one to be Fenrir Greyback. The other face wasn't familiar. There were a few others, circling Avery, pacing the alleyway, their wands aloft and their expressions hungry. She felt Remus tense beside her. It had been Greyback that had bitten him, she recalled. She squeezed his hand.

'They were supposed to be _here.'_

'Are you sure they're not still in the pub?'

'Yes, I'm sure, Nott. Dolohov saw them leave didn't he?'

Lupin's heart plummeted. They had been followed to the pub. His hair stood on end at the thought of Dolohov watching him with Dora. Part of him felt angry. That was private.

'Well it looks like he scared them off.'

'If they did magic we would know… you know what, just don't say anything at all, Nott. Your stupidity is aggravating me…' Avery had spotted something move on the other side of the alley. The hooded figures wheeled around in a terrifying chain reaction, there were several flashes of green light. A Barn Owl fell down onto the floor and into the light, dead. Greyback cursed loudly.

'How pathetic.' Avery spat. He spoke loudly and deliberately, as if he were addressing a large room of people. His voice echoed down the street. He was trying to talk to them wherever he thought they were. He _knew_ they were hiding.

At that moment Lupin felt that he would rather come out, with his hands up in the air, or even go down fighting, than be discovered by eight Death Eaters, cowering on the floor with Dora in his arms.

'How… pathetic,' Avery repeated himself. 'Two fully fledged members of the Order of the Phoenix, can't stand up and show themselves. Dumbledore's finest and wisest, playing hide and seek like a pair of children.'

Somebody laughed. For Lupin and Tonks, Avery's words had done the opposite of what they'd been intended to achieve. They both understood that they were being chased. The cowardly thing to do would be to run away to Grimmauld place, the only place to guarantee them safety, but they couldn't risk being followed to the Order Headquarters. To try and contact someone be incredibly selfish of them because that would involve dragging others into danger. And it would have been plain stupid to try and fight their way out.

For once, Zain was right. To hide was the best option. And even though they didn't feel very brave as they sat, curled and terrified together on the cold, hard floor, it was just about the most courageous thing they could have done.

Avery could have no effect on them. They didn't move a muscle.

'Come out, come out, wherever you are…' Avery cooed. He was turning his wand over in his fingers expertly, like a baton. The footsteps along the road became scattered as the group slit apart, apparently searching for them. Tonks didn't notice in the dark but her hair had become a terrified light brown teetering on the brink of blonde. Remus stroked her hand rhythmically and gently, with his thumb and with every comforting brush of warmth, her hair flushed pink.

Greyback hadn't moved. He took a step towards the wall that was a dead end and placed his hand upon it, fumbling across the texture of the brick with his fingertips. After a couple of seconds of this he turned around purposefully. He was facing them now and as the moon lit up his face dramatically.

Remus prayed he was imagining that Greyback's eyes were staring directly into his.

* * *

><p>Zain sat on his favourite armchair, only half worrying about the events of that evening. He knew that at this moment Death Eaters were out in a desperate bid to finish off members of the Order.<p>

He paused for a second to listen to her breathe in, and out.

It was a plan that hadn't gone quite as smoothly as they've hoped. Yet again the dark forces had failed to take into account, just how brilliant Albus Dumbledore was. The only people whose fates he wasn't sure of were Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin.

Again, he put his thoughts on hold and concentrated just for a fleeting moment on how peaceful her face was.

If Zain was being honest, he didn't particularly care for either of them so it was hard to worry too much. He knew Snape was probably at number twelve at that moment, trying to save lives and fix things and generally being Dumbledore's right hand man.

Zain snapped out of his thought process once more as he watched her lips part slightly.

He sighed. For somebody who acted like he couldn't care less, Snape did a hell of a lot for the Order. But Zain wasn't losing any sleep over the fate of the Order tonight. No, he had his own problems.

'_You.'_

The most immediate of those problems being that the young woman who had formerly been sleeping peacefully on the bed he was facing had just woken up. She had ruffled hair and dark patches under her eyes and generally the look of a person who had been held against their will for the last forty eight hours. The expression she wore was not one of fear, but one of apoplectic _rage_.

Slasior Zain was going to have to explain himself.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, time could not have been passing slower for the couple under the cloak. Each passing second was slow, torturous and brought with it a new wave of fear.<p>

After a good bit of searching, cursing, jeering and even a hilarious outburst of Avery's anger at Nott, the Death Eaters finally seemed to be admitting defeat. One by one, they began to disapparate. Eight loud_ cracks _rang around the cobbled road. The noise was music to their ears.

Tonks and Lupin waited in silence, still not moving for a good few minutes after Avery, who had been the last to go, had disappeared into the night.- At first they were simply in shock. Then the relief washed and swept over them like sun on their skin, warming their entire bodies. They were _alive. _They were _alive._

Tonks felt her face break out into an unexpected smile. Lupin breathed out heavily and laughed very quietly, very nervously. They untangled their interlocked fingers. Lupin buried his face in his hands, shaking with laughter of relief. Tonks merely leant her head backwards and stared at the stars, mouth open, the corners twitching slightly. They untangled their legs and Tonks pulled the cloak off them. It slid off easily and rapidly to the floor. The cool of the night air greeted their clammy faces and hands, calming their skin and their minds. They gulped it in, as if it was somehow purer, somehow richer than the air they had just been breathing.

Lupin was first on his feet. He staggered a little as his legs got used to having pressure on them again. He stretched out his back and then, with a very earnest expression, he held out his hand for Tonks to take. Tonks took it and he pulled her up slowly.

And then they were kissing. And it was unlike anything that had happened between them before. It was passionate, desperate, yet everything about the way their lips worked on each other's screamed relief. He wrapped his arms around her waist and he wondered for a second was she was doing. She seemed to be stumbling and shuffling around with her feet as he clung onto her, still kissing furiously.

Before he knew what was happening, Remus got that familiar feeling of being sucked into a vacuum, there was a loud _pop _and they were staggering backwards across his living room. As he reached a hand back to grope around for the handle to his bedroom door, he found himself laughing for what seemed like no reason. He wasn't sure why he laughed. It partly out of relief, yes, but mostly due to the irony that two people who had just spent several hours tangled together under covers would want to spend their new found freedom doing exactly the same thing.

The old clock on the wall stuck three in the morning and several things happened at once.

The owl outside the window gave a soft hoot.

Slasior Zain received a hard punch to the face.

Lord Voldemort shrieked in anger.

Sirius Black buried his troubled face into his trembling hands.

It began to rain.

And Nymphadora Tonks' lovely new dress; crumpled as it met Remus Lupin's bedroom floor.

* * *

><p>The sun was just rising in the wet, grey sky as the cold morning began. Rays of light filtered and cut through the silence and heavy air of the kitchen in Grimmauld place.<p>

Sirius Black was sat at the head of the dining table, his hands placed steadily upon it and his eyes staring downwards. His face was beginning to show the stubble of a man who hadn't shaved in twenty four hours. The near empty bottle of firewhiskey gave the impression that he hadn't moved for that time either. His face was pale. He was waiting.

His expression was almost completely blank, but his eyes gave him away. They were glinting slightly in the early light, almost as if the terrifying ex-convict was on the brink of tears.

His ears rang with the silence of the empty house.

The sound of no news.

The sound that told him Remus and Dora had yet to be found.

Every second of it drained a little bit more of his dwindling hope.

The door opened and Sirius stood so quickly that his chair fell to the floor with a loud bang. He didn't care. Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape and Kingsley Shacklebolt entered the room.

'Anything?' He said immediately.

'Not yet.' Dumbledore replied, his piecing blue eyes infuriatingly calm. 'But not nothing' He added ambiguously. Kingsley sat down. Mundungus entered the room too, as did Molly Weasley, but Sirius ignored them.

Snape spoke. 'The Death Eaters were unsuccessful in all their attempts.' Sirius heard Kingsley helping himself to the remaining firewhiskey. 'The Dark Lord is furious. Wherever they are, it's not with him.'

'Are you sure?' Sirius cut back aggressively, not quite daring to believe it.

'…Yes.' Snape replied after a very deliberate long pause.

'No really, Kingsley, I'm fine' Molly turned down the firewhiskey being offered to her.

The knot in Sirius' stomach lessened ever so slightly as Arthur Weasley entered the room too, pale faced and serious. 'Arabella, Moody, Dedalus and Hestia, are all fine.' He smiled weakly 'So are Bill and Charlie.' He added in Molly's direction.

'Good.' Dumbledore answered. 'That just leaves…'

'I went to Tonks' place with that key you gave me, no sign I'm afraid.' He shot Sirius a nervous, sympathetic look. 'She's not with Moody either, which was my second guess.'

'And Remus?' Sirius asked desperately as the exhausted Arthur took a seat next to his wife.

'I didn't have a key to his place. I didn't want to go too close, just in case he took up Moody's advice on those property defence spells…' He looked at the glass being held out to him and then at his watch. 'Kingsley, it's half six in the morning.'

Sirius turned back to Dumbledore, who looked reassuring. 'Albus, he keeps a spare… I remember. In the lantern outside his door…' Dumbledore nodded and then nodded once more at Snape who left at once.

'What, no!' Sirius protested, looking as if he would rather eat flobberworm soup than have Snape enter his best friend's house without permission. Dumbledore ignored him, however.

'Ah, Kingsley, there wouldn't be any more of that going spare, would there? It's been a tremendously long night.'

The gaggle of devastatingly tired people sat down after the horrible night of fighting, hiding and searching and talked quietly as the sun slowly rose in the sky.

* * *

><p>'<em>WHAT-DO-YOU-THINK-YOU-ARE-DOING? YOU ABSOLUTE TROLL- YOU LITTLE…'<em>

She was hitting and punching and kicking every inch of him she could reach. Soon he was on his back on the floor and blood was pouring out of his nose.

'OW!'

'SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST KIDNAP ME, IS THAT IT?-'

'Urm-' He spluttered for a couple of seconds. In all honest truth, at that moment, he found her absolutely terrifying.

'DON'T ANSWER THAT!' She shrieked. 'I DON'T CARE, JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FU-'

'Shhhh!' Zain hushed her desperately.

'DON'T YOU DARE HUSH ME-'

He was pinned beneath her on the floor. She brought back her fist and he caught it in his hand before she could hit him again. She fell silent for a second.

'I saw the letter you left for Tonks' He said calmly 'With the little secret code. You don't trust me.'

'I care about her. She's my best friend.' Her face was bright red as she backed away from him.

'You were running away.'

'Yes.'

'That wasn't the plan.'

'No.'

'Well, you can't just run off.'

'Why?' She raised her voice again 'I _saw_ that thing. The dark mark, on your arm. That's why you didn't want to help Tonks.'

His expression changed. 'Beth, it's not what it seems like.'

This did not calm her down. She looked terrified of him and it broke his heart.

'Beth, I was trying to protect you! You and Tonks are the only ones who know what that password to Hogwarts is. The Death Eaters found out! They'd kill for it, they'd…'

'You told me you were in the Order of the Phoenix.' Her eyes were shining with tears.

'… I am.'

'What the fuck am I supposed to believe then?' She yelled, her eyes prickled with tears. He ducked as one of the books, stacked neatly on the table next to the bed was hurled at his head. There was a loud noise as she threw another.

Zain didn't think. He didn't think to calm her down, or explain all the way through or even just let her leave. He ran out of the room, magically locking the door behind him before crumpling to the floor and burying his face in his hands. He sat there for what seemed like forever, ignoring the sound of books colliding against the back of the closed door.

* * *

><p>Slowly but surely, Tonks began to wake up. She was lying face down, her head tilting to the side and facing a wall she didn't recognise. She shut her eyes again. She was warm and comfortable and sleepy but soon her memories came dripping slowly back. One by one the events of the previous night hit her in a wonderful explosion of reminiscence. She grinned and bit her lip.<p>

There was a soft breathing sound coming from next to her. And she felt something pulling at her hair. Gently and occasionally she got small a tugging sensation. It irritated her at first, until her groggy mind truly grasped the situation she was in.

She was in Remus' bed. He was lying next to her, waiting patiently for her to wake while occupying himself by picking up odd locks of her hair and twirling them round his fingers or rubbing them against his thumb before letting them fall against the pillow. She shut her eyes again. It was as close to perfect as life had ever been.

She turned around under the covers to face him and stretched out her tired legs. He looked into her eyes and smiled.

'Good morning.'

'Good morning.'

There was a low rumble as Meg jumped onto the bed, purring loudly. She began to try and get Remus' attention. Tonks laughed and looked at the embarrassed Remus who was stroking the cat's reddish brown fur.

'I didn't know you had a cat' She raised her eyebrow and bit her lip in amusement.

'Are you jealous I have another woman in my life?' He teased, tickling under Meg's chin.

Tonks looked at the cat who was purring even louder than before 'That bitch.'

Remus laughed and then leant forwards to kiss her. They paused millimetres apart for a second before she met the difference. She sunk into his warmth as his gentle fingertips grazed the length of her back. She laughed quietly against his lips and he smiled against hers. His fingers were just exploring the back of her neck when…

'MERLIN'S F-' He jerked away.

'What is it…' She saw the terrified, frozen look on his face as he stared over her shoulder. Tonks turned round to follow his gaze.

'Shit!' She grabbed the sheets and covered herself with them, pulling them off Remus.

For a single second, all three people in the room looked at each other.

'Oh my god…'

Snape staggered backwards out of the room, one hand clapped over his face as Lupin desperately tried to pull some of the sheets back.

'No, wait!'

Tonks, who's hair and face now made her look like an overripe tomato, had shot beneath the sheets and curled up into a ball, eye's shut, listening furiously.

Lupin grabbed a pair of trousers off the floor and hopped towards the door trying to simultaneously run after Snape and put them on. He fell flat on his face and sprung up again.

'Wait, it's not what it…' He stopped. What on earth was he supposed to say? It was exactly what it looked like. 'I didn't know… why are you in my…?'

Snape half shouted as he strode towards the door 'Dumbledore sent me to check you were still alive, Lupin. Believe me, that was all I wanted to see.'

'…. And everyone else?'

'They're fine.' He strode out of the door.

'Wait! Severus, please, you won't say anyth-'

He stopped for a very brief moment, his back still to Remus. 'You have nothing to worry about, Lupin. This isn't something I'll be wanting to reminisce about too soon. There's a very large possibility I'll have my own memory wiped after this anyway.'

'Thank-' But he couldn't finish his sentence. Snape had disapparated, leaving him stood in his doorway, one leg in his trousers and looking very disturbed.

The silence was broken with a stifled call.

'At least they didn't send him to check on you last night.'

Remus snorted with laughter. He heard her join in with a wonderful, muffled laugh from the other room as she melted into hysterics, still hiding under the covers.

The sound was enough to lessen the led weight that felt like it had just been dropped into his stomach. The sun had finished rising now and Remus' small house was suddenly very full of light.

He didn't say it or even know it himself yet really, but that was the moment he fell in love with Nymphadora Tonks.

It was also the moment he decided to keep his extra key safely indoors.

**So what do you think? Snape, Remus and Dora are probably all scared for life now... but it was worth it for my own childish amusement! Please leave a review letting me know your thoughts and hopefully it wont be as many decades before the next chapter is up. Thank you! xxxx**


	9. Trust

**I AM SO SORRY. It has literally been spaceages since I last updated so a massive massive bear hug to anyone who still cares. I really hope you enjoy this monster chapter. Thanks to my Beta also for giving me a kick up the arse and making me finally update!**

Sirius wolfed down the breakfast Molly had made for him. She'd insisted on staying to make it, telling him that she didn't have the energy to go back home. Sirius knew she was lying. She was looking out for him because she knew how rattled he had been about the lack of news from Remus and Dora. Even though Snape had assured them they were both safe, she still stayed.

He and Molly didn't always see eye to eye, but he appreciated her gesture. Sirius would never say so, but Molly had become very dear to him, even if she did occasionally make him want to punch a wall.

His insides were not only groaning with hunger, but elated with relief and burning with anger. If Remus and Tonks were fine, why had they not come to see him? It was unbearable enough to not be able to leave the house when he wanted, but when the ones he loved were in danger it was nothing short of torture.

The walls suffocated him. The rooms got smaller every day until the unwelcome air was so thick with dust and memories that he could hardly breathe. He longed for the outside, for the innocence and freedom of cold fresh air. But the stuffy, musty house forced his childhood upon him, shoving images of his mother, father and brother into his face. The paintings, the wallpaper, the furniture were all ugly and sore to look at. They forced him to reminisce, to remember the smell, that feel of the floor under his feet, the spiteful muttering of Kreacher.

Sirius hated number twelve. And last night those feelings of rejection and fear and anger and hurt had been made a thousand times worse by Remus and Dora's completely selfish lack of news. Every second Sirius thought about it he became angrier until, in his mind, it was all Remus' fault. Never before had he been angrier at his old friend. There was a tiny part of him that knew this was an overreaction, but it was squashed mercilessly by the part of him that wanted to burst into tears, as if he was suddenly sixteen again.

He couldn't lose Remus. Not after James. Not after Peter.

He heard the door open.

'Is Sirius here?' A tired voice asked Molly, who had gone into the hall to see who it was. Sirius recognised the voice at once and anger flooded, white hot, through his veins.

"_Is Sirius here?"_ What a fucking stupid question. Where else would Sirius be?

Sirius stood up quickly and strode across the room into the hall, past Molly, and breaking out into a run he reached Lupin, grabbed the front of his robes and slammed him as hard as he could into the wall. Molly gasped.

'Sirius, really!'

Dust flew into the air and the house shook. Remus looked at him with wide, terrified eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment.

'You absolute git.'

'Sirius- I didn't thin-'

'No. You didn't think.' He spat the words, annunciating every syllable. After a few seconds he stopped gritting his teeth. 'God damn it'

He then pulled Remus forwards into a very tight hug and felt him hug back.

'I'm really sorry, Sirius,' he said over Sirius' shoulder. They broke apart. Sirius just gave him a look. He was almost too relieved to see his friend again to be angry. Almost.

'You better have a bloody good excuse. Come on then, come in. Molly's cooking…'

Remus followed his best friend back into the kitchen, alibi after alibi rushing though his mind.

Tonks pulled her cloak around her as she hurried across the atrium of the Ministry of Magic. For a building that had once excited her, inspired her, and made her feel proud to be an Auror, it had descended very quickly into a cold place of denial and corruption. She pushed the button in the lift to get to the office. She could hardly bring herself to look up from her feet while walking through the hallways anymore. The ministry always gave her a sick feeling in her stomach. It reminded her of Beth.

She didn't actually need to work that day but she had to drop by to pick up a file on some possible murderer posing as a Muggle librarian or something. To her surprise, when she pushed open the heavy door to the office it wasn't empty. Zain was sat on his desk chair, his face in his hands. Tonks froze. No, he _couldn't_ be.

She was half shocked, half amused.

'Zain, are you…crying?'

Zain started and looked up. He obviously hadn't heard her come in.

Tonks stood frozen to the spot for a moment; she didn't really know how to respond to this. Then, without really thinking and putting aside any negative feelings towards Zain, she grabbed her chair, dragged it across the floor, and sat down.

'Go on then,' she looked at him.

He looked at her in disgust, as if he was about to tell her to mind her own fucking business. He opened his mouth, shut it and then opened it again.

'Why don't you mind your ow-'

'How about you just tell me,' she cut across him, her voice not quite stern.

His expression softened ever so slightly and he sighed, a look of resignation on his tired face.

'You might as well know.' He looked at the floor and then at her. She waited. 'I did something stupid.' She still said nothing. 'Okay,' he said, as if wondering how to phrase it. He sighed again, already bored by her reaction to what he was about to say. 'I'm in love w- I love Beth.'

'What?'

'Yes. We've been seeing each other for months'

'That is…'

'And when I was talking to Bellatrix-' his pace increased and he looked at the floor again.

'…a surprise.'

'At the Death Eater meeting, Bellatrix Lestrange, she said something about… questioning Beth. You know, because she's such good friends with you.' He sounded a little scared now.

'What?' She repeated. There was a cold, steely note of panic to Tonk's voice now. 'What- Zain… what-'

'Relax, it was just mentioned in passing.' He was still staring at the floor. He was talking incredibly fast, as if he just wanted his story out there to be done with it. 'But it scared me more than anything because we both know that nobody gets "questioned" by Voldemort. They get tortured. So I panicked. I came into work, pulled some strings with surveillance and had Beth tracked… so she'd be safe.'

'Why would that make her safe?' Tonks asked carefully. Zain seemed a little bit like an explosion ready to go off at any moment.

'If she went missing, they… the Ministry could find her. I could find her.'

Suddenly Tonks twigged something. Anger flooded her chest. 'So it's your fault she ran away? It's your fault she ran off! She thought the Ministry was going to arrest her!'

'Yes.' Zain lied through his teeth. He knew full well that wasn't why she had run away. What the fuck had he done?

Tonks let herself feel a pang of pity for Zain. Maybe she had got him all wrong. But there was something causing her doubt. She asked him a question that had been bugging her for ages. 'Zain, when you wanted me to tell you where the prophecy was…'

To her surprise he smiled weakly as he cut her off. 'I was wondering when that was going to come up. Dumbledore asked me to do it.' He explained. 'He wanted to make sure you wouldn't even give people in the Order intelligence without authorisation, before giving you that… password to Hogwarts.'

Tonks suddenly felt very stupid for running off to Dumbledore about that. 'I thought nobody else was supposed to know about that password.' She replied, trying not to sound too guilty. She knew all too well that due to her sloppiness Beth could have very possibly seen it. The Order files were left stupidly -Tonks thought- out on her kitchen counter when Beth turned up at Tonks' flat alone that night.

'Well Dumbledore told me.' Zain shrugged, trying to inject a bit of his usual arrogance into his tone. That was also a lie. Dumbledore hadn't been the only one to tell him. 'He trusts me,' he added.

It was Beth who had told him one evening. The two of them had been left alone in the office and it was late. They had sat under his desk just drinking and talking. She told him that she'd seen a password in Tonks' apartment. She didn't tell him what it was, but the damage had already been done. Augustus Rookwood had been listening to every intimate moment of that evening while standing in the doorway. The memory still made his stomach clench unpleasantly.

Tonks thought about the note Beth had left before she disappeared, and how Zain had read the note on the night he saved her life. It had said she was pregnant. Well… she had to ask, didn't she?

She still found the ordeal difficult to talk about, especially as her arm was still tightly bandaged. 'You know that time you saved my-' She paused, wonder how to phrase it.

'I was at yours because I had to see if she'd left you a note, told you where she'd gone. I thought she would've. You're her best friend.'

'Oh, okay.' It wasn't what Tonks wanted to ask. She had wanted to know if he was indeed the father of Beth's baby, but she decided to let it go. There was a little patch of silence before Tonks spoke again. 'I get the feeling you're not nearly as bad of a person as you wanted me to think, Zain.'

'You're probably right.' He answered.

'Then why did you pretend?' She asked quietly. She could almost feel the presence of Beth in the room with them.

He looked at her, with a rare flash of honesty in his eyes. 'I didn't set out to make friends at the Order.'

She looked at him compassionately. 'Too late.'

Picking up the file she had come for she slotted it in her bag and turned to face him.

'She'll be fine.'

'Yeah.'

And she left him like that, walking as naturally as she could out of the room.

Well that was weird.

Zain gave into temptation and resumed the position he had been adopting before Tonks had entered. She had been kind to him. But he wouldn't get attached. He _couldn't_ get attached.

Before he knew it, the flashback started.

_The cold air of London whipped his face and he was already looking forward to seeing Beth again. It was during this thought that a hand gripped his arm, causing him to draw his wand. Tall, grey, scarred and imposing, Rookwood glowed down at him. Zain lowered his wand, but not fully. _

'_What do you want?' He asked as aggressively as he dared. _

_A very unsettling smile twitched on his face. 'Hello, loverboy. I heard your conversation with the Auror girl. It was very interesting, very interesting indeed.'_

_Beth. No._

_Zain tried his very hardest to act aloof. 'The only thing that is of interest, Rookwood, is the Order of the Phoenix information that I get from her. Why else do you think I was with her? The dirty half blood.'_

_Rookwood's expression did not change. 'That was good acting.'_

'_What are you implying?'_

'_Nothing at all,' he replied smoothly. His eyes were greedy._

_He had heard. He had heard there was a password to Hogwarts and he wanted to be the one to deliver it to Voldemort, Zain thought furiously. He was going to be sick._

_Rookwood walked away, turned and disappeared on the spot. _

_Seconds later Zain was hammering with both his fists on Beth's front door. She opened it, looking alarmed. Zain's hair was falling in his face, his shirt was sticking to him slightly and he looked, for the first time, scruffy. She grinned. _

'_What up with y-'_

'_You have to get out of here.' Fear, cold and fury burned in his eyes. 'Now.'_

'_What?' Her stomach turned a little, what was going on?_

'_That thing- The thing you know. They want it.'_

'_Who?'_

'_You kn- Voldemort.' Her mouth opened slightly and stayed so. 'Voldemort's people want it.' He knew that Rookwood would stop at nothing for that password. He would be rewarded more than ever before. And nobody wanted to be the one standing between Augustus Rookwood and what he wanted. _

_Beth had turned as white as a sheet. 'How… what- How do they know?'_

'_They overheard us talking.' He said quickly. 'You have to come with me, Beth. Now.'_

_Beth wasn't stupid; her mind was putting two and two together quickly. 'You're in it too, aren't you? The Order of the Phoenix. You and Tonks.'_

'_Yes.' He sighed impatiently. 'Just pack some stuff and I'll take you somewhere.'_

'_Why can't I just go t-'_

'_They can track you.' Zain cut in, impatiently. She needed to hurry. He was severely regretting his decision to have her tracked. It was stupid. Stupid. Stupid. _

'_How?'_

'_Ministry.'_

'_Why is the Mini-'_

'_Beth!' He groaned. There wasn't time. _

_Beth began to panic. She looked at him with wide eyes. 'But I said about Tonks, they'll know about Tonks. They might… I have to tell Tonks.'_

'_Tonks can't know.'_

'_Why?'_

_He loved her, but she was really starting to annoy him. She had to hurry. 'Tonks is protected by the Order.' A wave of guilt swept over him. 'She's fine.'_

_This was bullshit. But Zain knew that if Tonks found out that The Death eaters had heard Hogwarts had a password, she would be forced to tell Dumbledore that Beth knew. And Zain was the missing link between Beth and Voldemort. They'd think he was a traitor. Lupin, Black and Moody were itching to get rid of him anyway. He had to stay in the Order. _

_Beth looked at him carefully. She knew him. She knew he was lying about Tonks being fine. _

'_Beth, will you please pack a bag? We need to leave. Now.' He looked close to tears._

_It was then, as he moved his arm, that she saw it. His shirt sleeve rode up slightly to reveal…_

_Fear gripped her insides. She had to remain calm. She had to act as if she hadn't seen it. She had to warn Tonks. The sight of the dark mark had made her heart stop. She couldn't believe it. She loved him. _

'_Give me twenty minutes.' She said as calmly as she could. 'Get out of my hair and come and get me in twenty minutes'_

_He nodded, rushed forwards, kissed her, and then disapparated. _

_Beth grabbed a quill and parchment, her hands shaking. _

_It was during that time that she wrote and left Tonks her note, carrying the hidden warning, packed a bag and left. She had to get as far away as she could from Zain. _

_It was when she was on a street, somewhere in the middle London, that she burst into tears. She had nowhere to go. Tonks wasn't home. She had no Order of the Phoenix to protect her. The man she loved was a fucking… traitor. _

_He didn't even know about the little person who was growing inside her. _

_She had no idea where to go._

It didn't take long for Zain to find her, and as he drew closer all he could think about was how lucky he was that he had got to her before anyone else and how the hell he was going to explain himself. It would soon be apparent that he should have spent more time thinking about the latter. It began to rain.

'Beth!' He turned her round. 'Beth, what are you doing? You have to come with me.'

'Get off me!' She shrieked, stumbling backwards. Several people on the street had turned to look; one man began to walk towards them. Fat raindrops pelted down, blurring everything but the look of fear on her face. Fear. Fear of him.

'We haven't got time for you to not trust me!' He practically shouted, grabbing her again.

'Hey!' Shouted the man, he was running now.

'I'm so sorry about this,' he whispered. The look she gave him broke his heart.

'Stupefy!' He stunned Beth

'Stupefy!' He stunned the man

He spun on the spot, Beth in tow, and arrived outside his old family house.

It had been trace protected for 160 years.

Zain looked up at the empty office around him. Part of him really wished Tonks had stayed.

~ ~ ~Remus Lupin was holding a piece of toast to his mouth even though he wasn't even remotely hungry anymore.

'I just still can't believe you didn't send an owl or anything, Remus. How was I supposed to know you were okay or even alive, for Merlin's sake?'

'I'm sorry, Sirius,' and he looked like he meant it too, 'it's like I said; It was just too risky to send anything until the morning…'

Sirius calmed down a little. He believed Lupin's story about not wanting to risk sending news and it seemed – Lupin warmed at the thought – that he was simply too happy that he was alive to stay angry for long.

They heard the front door open, followed by a loud bang and a cry of 'Stupid, bloody umbrella stand!'

Remus used all of his concentration to reverse the colour that his face had suddenly flushed to. Tonks entered the room and Sirius, who was nearest the door and still standing, immediately rounded on her.

'And you!' He cried, pointing an accusing finger at her, 'Both of you,' he looked back at Lupin then at Tonks again, 'didn't have the courtesy to tell me…'

Tonks looked at Sirius, then Remus, then Sirius again in alarm. 'I'm sorry, Sirius! We just wanted to wait a bit before we told an-'

Lupin panicked and did the first thing that entered his mind.

'Ouch!' he shouted.

Tonks and Sirius both looked at him.

'What?'

'What?'

There was an awkward pause as his mind worked furiously. 'Ah, it's nothing -something bit me…' He said quickly so nobody would have a chance to say anything more. He stood up. 'Do you want a drink Tonks? Cup of tea maybe?' She was looking at him in confusion. 'Sirius was just telling us off because we didn't let him know that we were okay last night.'

He walked past Tonks to the kitchen and said, very quickly and very quietly, 'When we were both in the different places that we were at separately and not together.'

'Ah,' she breathed. She understood. As Remus made the tea, Tonks began to apologise. She threw her arms around Sirius and kissed him on the cheek, which cheered him up dramatically.

They spent the morning with him, occasionally catching each other's eye. It was strange acting like normal now. Remus tried to avoid eye contact with her, as Sirius had asked him twice now if he was too warm. And Dora wasn't bloody helping, as she kept on laughing for apparently no reason. He'd be damned if Sirius hadn't already worked it out. They weren't exactly being subtle.

It was only that evening that they got the chance to be alone again.

Remus sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed his face with his hands. She stood and watched him. She kept on noticing things about him that she'd never realised before; the way he twisted his hands when he was anxious, or the exact colour of his hair, or how pointy his left canine was, or how when he smiled there was a little wrinkle that appeared in left corner of his mouth that she just couldn't stop herself from staring at.

'I feel guilty about Sirius.' He interrupted her thoughts.

'Me too,' she agreed. 'I don't like lying to him.'

'And I get that feeling that he already knows everything about me anyway.' He replied, furrowing his brow.

'He probably does.' She grinned. 'You two are like an old married couple.'

Lupin laughed and his eyes suddenly seemed very full of memories.

'You should have seen him and James.' He said fondly. 'If it hadn't been for James' exceptional affinity for Lily and Sirius' exceptional affinity for… well, for women in general, I wouldn't have put my money against those two getting together.'

Their laughter soon faded into an affectionate, sad silence. Remus looked at her.

'Want to go out tonight? I think I need to get number twelve out of my system.'

'Yes,' he grabbed his jacket. 'Yes, me too.'

The pair of them left her flat, and not too long afterwards they were sat side by side at a table in the corner of The Leaky Cauldron. Remus held up his drink a little.

'Well, here's to Sirius.'

'To Sirius.'

They drank, probably a lot more than they intended. But the conversation was good. Remus kept on noticing little things about Dora that had skipped his attention before,like how she seemed to stare at his mouth a lot, or how the tips of her hair sometimes seemed out of her control as they would occasionally flush different colours, or how it took her a little while to work out her left from her right, or how she pronounced her r's. He could listen to her talk all day.

He saw a familiar flash of white under her sleeve and noticed something.

'How long have you had that bandage on now?' He asked, frowning. He took her wrist gently to inspect it. 'You burned it, right?'

'Yeah,' she replied a little breathlessly.

'Do you want me to have a look?'

'No, I'm fine.'

'Are you sure? I'll ju-'

'Just,' she pulled her arm away and pulled the sleeve back over it. He looked at her. 'Leave it.'

'Okay,' he responded, only looking a little concerned and embarrassed as he refilled her glass. His eyes darted from the bottle to her arm and back.

It was several drinks later that they got to the most interesting part of their night. They were sitting with their heads very close together now. Tonks was staring at him, her head propped up on her hand. The question had been a surprise to both of them. She didn't know why she asked, but as soon as the words left her mouth she felt her curiosity grow.

'Have you ever been in love, Remus?' Her tone was gentle but serious.

He lifted his eyes to stare glassily at hers, studying her. After a couple of seconds he licked his lower lip before answering, 'Yes. Have you?'

She didn't answer for a moment but looked at the dregs of the wine she was swirling around in her glass. 'Yes.' She shut her eyes, opened them and then took the last sip. 'But that's a very pathetic and depressing story.'

Lupin looked at her with concern. 'I'll bet it's not as pathetic as mine.' He said reassuringly. There was an element on self-loathing to his tone.

She replied with a bitter smile. 'I wouldn't be so sure'

He furrowed his brows. They were both very drunk. 'You first.' He half whispered.

She looked back at him and they both stared, each willing the other to speak.

'Fine.' Tonks let herself take a couple of deep, gentle breaths. 'Okay. Well it years ago now. I'd been in Auror training for about… two years.' He didn't say anything, just listened. 'His name was,' - it seemed like this was difficult for her to say but he waited patiently- 'Damien. He was in the Auror training programme with me.' She looked a little uncomfortable. For the first time, he spoke.

'Go on.'

She took a deep breath. 'Well, he was very handsome.' She remembered as a bitter smile twitched at her mouth. 'All the girls loved Damien Anderson,' she chuckled. 'Dark hair and diamond eyes, he had.' She said, remembering, but not fondly.

'He called me 'Twonk.' She blurted. 'When I first introduced myself, I fancied him like anything, so I was nervous and my name came out as "Twonk",' she explained to a smiling Lupin. 'And I was Twonk form then on. They always went to the pub after training, the boys. It used to annoy me like you wouldn't believe because they never bloody asked any of the girls along. If you met the girls in Auror training… well, they could drink any of those guys under the table. Twice.' Lupin laughed. She continued, encouraged.

'He invited me one day. And when we got there, he bought drinks until neither of us could stand up straight and then we were kind of… after that we were just kind of… dating. It never really started officially. We were just dating and it was really good. He treated me like an adult, and I was desperate for that, I think. Mad-Eye never liked him; he thought Damien was arrogant. He was right. But I was just smitten, I suppose.'

Lupin brushed his lips with the side of his hand absent mindedly, watching her.

'And it started off really well,' she told Lupin, tracing her finger around the rim of her glass. 'But then… he started getting weird.' Her insides went cold and she concentrated on her finger outlining the glass. 'Like, he got jealous, all the time.' She suddenly became aware of the words as they left her mouth. How hard and permanently they hung in the air.

'I didn't mind arguing with Damien.' She assured Lupin. 'I actually kind of liked it. He was the only one who could match me.' She smiled but stopped quickly. He watched her with an expression she couldn't read. She waited for a long time before she carried on. 'But then there'd be a little shove and I'd shove him back and it was okay because he treated me like one of the boys and I loved him - or I thought I did. Same thing, really.' Remus was looking at her with a suddenly very attentive expression. 'But there was one time…' She couldn't seem to continue. Lupin moved his hand from his face to the table so quickly it alarmed her, but he didn't move after that. He looked a little frozen. 'It didn't carry on for long. Not at all. I left him a week later. I should have left sooner, but I could stand up for myself and I'd convinced myself I could stand up… well, I left eventually. It was me being stupi-'

'No.' The word was definite, dangerous. 'It wasn't your fault.' His eyes flashed with something she hadn't seen before. It almost scared her. 'Does he still work for-'

'Oh, no. I don't know what happened to him. I haven't seen him really since. I don't want to.' She trailed off. 'I haven't exactly told anyone that before so…' and much to her surprise she felt a hot sensation spring up and prickle in her eyes. She didn't really know what she wanted him to say. Nothing really, she supposed. She just wanted him to know. She'd wanted to say it. She hadn't wanted to cry, though. She didn't want to cry about it. Damien Anderson wasn't worth crying about.

Remus felt a sudden tide of guilt over his less than adequate reaction, as well as a heartbreaking feeling of sadness and a surge of anger. He pulled her into his shoulder and she hid her face in him. Had that been what Moody meant? He should be 'surprised' that Tonks could look after herself? He thought about how Damien Anderson – the name made something hot claw at his insides – had disappeared. He would be surprised if Moody hadn't had something to do with that. Lupin lowered his face and pressed his lips against the top of her head.

'It was before the war,' he murmured against her hair. 'I had been very unemployed for much too long…'

_It __was becoming more difficult to screw and unscrew the lid to the firewhiskey bottle in between drinks as his hands became less steady. He fumbled at the neck of the bottle, unscrewed the lid and flung it across the room. Who was he kidding? Closing one eye, he squinted down the neck of the bottle then leant back and rested his head against the wall. How had he got on the floor?_

_He should be feeling something right now; he should feel something, grief, something. But the scary part was the he didn't. He felt hollow and he knew that was the drink. He wasn't an alcoholic, even though that's exactly what an alcoholic would say. It was true. Though recently, Remus Lupin decided he'd had enough. He was alone. He was incapable of any type of relationship, not that any girl would want to date a werewolf anyway, and he had no job, could do nothing but sit around in his house all day being useless and hiding. Werewolf rules and regulations had been getting worse and worse over the last few months. Dolores Umbride was behind it. She was a particularly foul, fresh, pug ugly new face to the Ministry, intent on making the lives of people like him so bad that eventually even surviving as a werewolf would become impossible under Ministry law. _

_Not to mention Lily. Yes, that was right. He mustn't forget the fucking icing on the steaming cauldron cake of piss that was his life. He was in love with Lily Potter, his best friend's wife. There was nothing more to add, really. He couldn't even look at her without feeling like his heart was being stamped on by a herd of trolls. Not to mention imagining her with James, one of his oldest and dearest friends. The knife of guilt twisted at his insides, turning the emotion to anger. It was easier to deal with anger. He couldn't get a job and he couldn't go out, not as a werewolf, anyway. He didn't want to see his friends or his parents. So here he was. On the floor, on his own, hiding from the world._

_Albus Dumbledore had done a lot of things for him as a boy to secure his future. If only he could look at him now. He was a failure. _

_He clutched onto the bottle. He didn't like getting drunk. He didn't do it much, not at all really, but today, today he just needed to stop himself from over thinking things. See, Remus did that a lot. He thought too much. And the more he thought about things, the more painful they became. _

_The owl from his mother still sat, just opened on the table._

'_I'm sorry, dear, dad's gone.' It was good of her to send it. He hadn't seen, or made contact with her for a long time. _

_And Lupin felt nothing. Hollow except for a dull kind of disappointment that he knew was intended for himself. He still couldn't remember how he had got on the floor. _

_With a sinking feeling in his heart, he heard the front door creek. He wasn't in the mood. He grabbed the letter, crumpled it and stuffed it away in his bookshelf. _

_A flash of red hair and a voice made his insides crumple as easily the parchment had. _

'_Remus…' she said tentatively. She had seen him. He kept his face resolutely in his hands. _

'_Please.' Remus' voice was heavy 'Please, go away.'_

'_James sent me.'_

_Remus didn't answer. They both knew he knew that was a lie. James was furious with the way Remus had been acting. Lily had snuck over because James wasn't talking to him. He didn't look up._

_She felt sorry for him, pitied him. And it was because of her kindness that she'd come over. Not because she loved him. She didn't love him like her loved her. _

_Remus tried furiously to stop thinking about her, petrified that his thoughts would somehow spill out of his mind and into hers. But the pain of unrequited love and the absence of his friends just after his father's death stirred anger in him. The small part of him that knew it wasn't their fault had gone. She wasn't helping. She thought she was, but she wasn't. She was just adding more pain, and he didn't want to cry. He wouldn't cry in front of her._

'_Do you want something to eat, Moony?' She was in the kitchen, bustling about. He heard the kettle begin to boil and then suddenly she was a lot closer to him. He could hear her voice next to his ear as she crouched down. 'Why don't you let me take that.' She sounded worried but kept her voice calm, as if she were talking to a temperamental child. She pulled the bottle gently out of his hand. He let her do it and didn't look at her. Eating was the last thing he wanted to do. He felt on this brink of being sick. Was he really never going to see his father again? His face was flushing. He wanted her to leave. He didn't want her to look at him. He didn't want anyone to see him. _

'_James and Sirius are just worried about you, Remus,' she said gently. The calm tone and patience in which she spoke infuriated him. 'James doesn't mean-'_

'_Yes, what did he mean, Lily?' He looked up suddenly at a shocked Lily. 'Tell me what his intentions are. Tell me how lovely he really is, please.' She was stunned. Remus didn't talk to anyone like that, ever. _

'_I'm just trying to help.' She retorted, obviously stung. 'James shouted at you because you need to sort yourself out. And frankly, he's right.' She looked guilty again and put her warm hand delicately on his shoulder. 'We're worried about y-'_

'_Oh, piss off, Lily.' She removed her hand quickly. 'Good news. You and James can go back to bitching about what a failure I am sooner than you thought because for once in your life, you don't have to go out of your way to try and prove to the world how perfect and amazing Lily Evans obviously is because I am really, really not in the mood for you fake sympathy bullshit today.' He spat his words out like a venomous snake. 'But really, thank you for your consideration.'_

_Something flashed in Lily's green eyes and he knew he had done the job. He knew there would be guilt later but he pushed it down. _

'_Fine.'_

_She hoisted herself upwards on the wall and headed straight for the door. Remus didn't watch her leave but heard the door being thrown open and slammed shut again. He sighed in relief. She had gone. There was a moment's silence._

'_Actually, no.' Her voice made him jump. She hadn't left, but had in fact changed her mind in the process, slammed the door shut once more and turned to face him. 'I don't know,' her voice was shaking, 'what has happened to you recently, Remus. But since we last checked, being a werewolf does not change our opinion of you, nor does it put you in the centre of the universe. So I am struggling to see why you think…' She trailed off, unable to finish. '…Anyway. I came over to tell you that Mark is dead.'_

_The news hit Remus like a punch to the stomach. James' cousin, who had joined the order about a month ago, who had made Dumbledore laugh out loud with his joke about the dancing mandrakes…_

'_So if you wanted to join us in any 'fake sympathy', they're burying him on Wednesday.'_

'_How did he… how?' He didn't seem to be able to get out his words properly._

'_How do you think, Remus?' Lily's voice rose considerably. 'It wasn't from sitting on his arse in his living room feeling sorry for himself all day.' _

_With that she left for real, slamming the door so hard his windows shook. _

_Suddenly Remus felt very, very sober. As he nearly empty bottle rolled across his floor, he realised several things at once. He wasn't in love with Lily. The feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw her was pure jealously, not love. James and Lily had each other, and for some ridiculous reason that had made him think he was alone. Remus couldn't sit there and think on it for long. If he sat still for any longer, the self-disgust would make him physically ill. _

_He grabbed the crumpled letter out of his bookshelf and stood up shakily. He opened his front door moments later to find Sirius' face staring at him, his arm raised as if he was just about to knock. They looked at each other and Sirius asked with a frown, 'Where are you off to?'_

_Remus' voice shook but remained unbroken. 'I'm going to go and see my mum.' Sirius stared at him in surprise. After a couple of seconds silence__ Remus did the bravest think he had done in weeks. He handed Sirius the letter and asked, 'Will you come with me, Sirius? Please.'_

_Sirius nodded and his shaggy black hair revealed both of his brilliant grey eyes. They walked together into the village. Sirius began to read the note in his hand. _

'_Oh, Remus,' He looked up, his mouth ajar. 'I am so sorry.'_

'_No,' he swallowed. 'I am. I'm sorry, Sirius, just-' he looked down at his feet and something lifted from his shoulders. 'Just don't feel sorry for me. I'm okay.'_

'_Yeah?'_

'_Yeah.'_

'_We're your friends, Remus, we are. Let us.'  
><em>

And it sounded silly, he explained to Tonks and she drank and stared, captivated. But the word, the idea, friend, was so warm and perfect that it was astounding to him that he could have thought of Lily as anything else.

'I might have been in love with her,' he said as he truly drained the last of his drink. 'I might have been in love with the idea of being in love. Or maybe,' he sighed, 'I was desperate to plunge myself into as much self-pity as I could by wanting what I couldn't have.'

'I'm sorry,' she said quietly

He looked up with a concerned frown. She knew who he was thinking about. And then he surprised her.

'This is serious, isn't it Dora?'

'Why do you-'

'I need to know.'

'Yes, we are.'

I love you. It was as good as saying it, but neither of them did. As they stood up to leave they both realised the same thing at the same time.

Tonks hadn't been in love, she knew that now. She could feel it in her bones. Not like this, anyway. Because she didn't think it was possible to love, to care for anyone more than she did the man in front of her. She followed him and he reached out a hand for her to take hold of as they walked down the steps side by side. She had no way of knowing that the man holding her hand was thinking exactly the same thing.

Zain's throat hurt from talking so much. If somebody could throw down an argument, it was Beth. And if somebody could throw down an argument backed up with a definite physical threat, it was pregnant Beth. The rain pelted against the window of his creaking attic.

'I am so sorry,' he murmured, voice close to breaking. 'I got you into this mess. I got myself into this mess.'

'You know, I didn't believe it.' She half whispered back, her strong welsh accent shining through even in her exhaustion. 'I knew you weren't, you couldn't be. You're a good man, Slasior. I don't know why you want to hide it from the world so badly.'

'And you're really…' He pointed to her small bump and slid off the side of the bed to join her on the floor.

'Yes.' And with no permission from her brain, a grin started and spread across her face, from ear to ear.

'Is it mine?' He asked, teasing her.

She laughed and hit is arm. 'You're a bloody idiot.'

She kissed his cheek and he shut his eyes, both of them oblivious to Rookwood making his way up the garden path.

'Are you going to do something in the way of food?' She asked. 'Because I won't lie, I'm going to fucking eat you in a minute if I don't get something.'

'What do you want?' He asked, jumping up and then crouching again in front of her. 'Anything you want.'

'Anything?'

'Anything.' He moved his face closer.

'Anything?' She moved closer too.

'Tell me what you desire.'

She laughed again. God he had missed that sound. 'Mmmm…'

They were interrupted by three loud raps on the door. Zain was on his feet in a second and Beth's eyes became the size and shape of galleons.

'Stay here. Don't make a sound. I'll see who it is.' He shut the door behind him and hurried down the stairs. A few moments later he was greeted with the sight, once more, of Augustus Rookwood standing in his doorway. He was twirling his wand in his long fingers, a casual threat.

'I need you to get me that password, Zain. Or I'll have to get it myself.'

He could've sent an owl, he could've waited until they were both at the Ministry, but he had come in person. It was a tactic of intimidation. Zain knew Rookwood would do anything to bring that password to Voldemort and looking into his hard, dangerous eyes, he believed it.

**There you go. Again thank you so much for reading and I am so sorry for how long this took. If you have the time I'd love to hear what you think. Take care xxx**


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